Hey, it's your friend Mel Robbins and today I am so excited. I'm going to take you on a walk. You're going to go on a walk with me and my 89year-old mother-in-law JJ and my husband and our two dogs. And I wanted to do this because my mother-in-law just burst into our house to share some exciting news about a decision that she has made about what she wants to change and an adventure that she wants to uh go on in the next year of her life
at the age of 90. It's pretty crazy. And so we're going to bring you on a walk. Now, I'm going to be trying to film this. We'll see how this goes. But I'm thrilled that you're here with me. Let's start the show. All right. You ready to go for a walk? Yeah. >> All right. Let's do this. I cannot wait for you to share this crazy decision that you have made >> with everybody >> with the world. >> With the world. Well, I This is This
is amazing what you've decided to do at 89. And so I want you to tell the whole story. Okay? >> Okay. I tell tell the whole story >> because if you can make a decision like this to do something and switch it up at your age, anybody can make this decision at any age. I love this. Okay. All right. So Jude, >> yeah, >> let's reverse to when you came into the kitchen and you tell me tell me what what happened. So you were you were
literally start with you went to New York to see the thing. You took a gummy. Let's start there. >> Do I have to tell the world the whole thing? Why not? >> Okay. >> So, I went to New York with my partner John and we went out to dinner. We had a gummy and then we went and saw luminaries at St. Pat's, which is the most amazing light show you've ever seen. >> So, St. Pats is what? >> St. Patrick's Cathedral. >> Okay. >> Church, you
know, in New York. >> Okay. So afterwards we were we went oh afterwards we went to the St. Reges to have a port which is they have a wonderful bar at the St. Reges. >> Okay. >> And I said to John I had this vision. I said why don't we just drop everything and go away for a year to Europe. And you've got all sorts of places you want to travel that I've already been to and that you never have. and we'll just put a backpack
on and get on a train and go. >> Okay. Now, how old are you? >> I'll be 90 next September who was just 89. >> And how old is John? >> He'll be 85. >> Okay. So, he's Oh, you're a cradle robber lady. >> I am. I'm a cougar. My You are so funny. Okay. So, he's 85. >> Yeah. You're 89 and you're proposing to your partner John that you guys rent your houses, get backpacks, and you go to Europe. >> Yeah. >> For how long?
>> A year. >> A year. >> Well, 90. >> Yeah. Well, first of all, I don't We don't have to use sticks. >> So, you have so many friends that have sticks. What does that mean? you know, walking sticks because they don't have any balance. And I said to John, if we're as in good a shape as we're in now, >> y >> let's take advantage of it. Why wait? What are we waiting for? You know, so many people say, "Oh, well, okay, I'll do that
next week." Now, I have to tell you that one of the impetus that got me going was this very good friend of ours who was 62 years old, just died in a car crash 3 weeks ago. And at the memorial service, he said, this cousin said, "Just remember one thing. Don't wait, you know, don't wait to say I love you. Don't wait to go to your favorite restaurant. Don't wait to take that trip you've always wanted to. Just do it. And that's what I want to
do now cuz I cuz I can. It's true. I mean, at 89, because you've been walking every day for the last 30 years and you do resistance training, you take good care of yourself, you can do it. And what I find amazing is that I think a lot of people start to as they get older, you start to think you're just kind of stuck where you are. And for you at your age to say, "Wait a minute. I I don't want to keep doing life the
way I've been doing it." Because you you also normally you like a lot of people go to a warmer place for the winter. And you also had something interesting to say about the fact that you're sick of maj. sick of like tell me a little bit more about that. >> Well, it's just that, you know, I never want to complain because I have a beautiful life. Y >> So, it isn't a complaint, but I'm tired of in the summertime going to the club for dinner, playing
bridge, playing golf. Now, that's a terrible thing to say that I'm tired of that when I'm so privileged, but it's just that it's a routine. I've been doing it. I'm now moving into the last stage of my life and I'd like to do something different. And and by the way, I used to live in London. So going back to London, I said to John, it's really kind of weird. I lived in London with my husband and I'm returning with my lover and and and no children.
Now that makes it even better. Oh yeah, exactly. >> Well, I just am very inspired by this idea that you can have a good life and you can at any moment wake up and say, "Hey, wait a minute." Like, why am I waiting to shake things up? You can always come back. You can always change your mind if you're renting your place. And I also love that at your age, you have so many friends that live in so many places that you've been talking about the
fact that you can live um you can live you can actually rent uh in somebody's flat that you know in London. >> We don't know that we can do that yet. >> Okay. >> If if we have to rent from somebody we don't know, we just hope we can find a place to rent. >> Of course you can. What does John, your lover and partner, say about this? >> Well, John is the complete opposite kind of person than me. >> Okay. >> And he's he likes
everything organized, everything in the place. He he's a news junkie, so he likes to sit in his computer. And I'm just the opposite. I'd rather sit with a book and go into La La Land, you know, somebody else's than facts. >> Yes. >> I don't I know. I don't just It doesn't do it for me. So, for him and he also has a house. He worries about his house. He likes to take care of it, >> of course. So, >> I mean, that's a big deal
to go away for a year. >> Yes. So, >> and I love that at 85 and 90 you guys are going to get backpacks and just go. Oh, and then John said, "Backpack?" No, I'm not a backpack kind of guy. I said, "Well, okay, you take your suitcase. I'll take the backpack. I have smaller clothes." Oh my god. Why do you think it's important to recognize that you can mix things up anytime you want? I think the thing that people have to remember is that you
have no guarantee that there's tomorrow. So mix things up now. I mean, you and I and Christopher are taking a walk. Th This is a terrible thing to say, but this might be the last time we'd ever walk on this loop. >> Oh, God. Don't say that. >> I mean, I don't want it to be a downer, but it's the truth. It's true. You know, so you know, when you said, "Let's take a walk," and I said, "Oh, I don't know. It might be too cold."
>> Yes. >> I thought, you know, it's never too cold. As long as you can walk, get out and walk. >> It's true. >> Do you think it's the most spectacular fall we've ever seen? Ever. >> I do. Well, >> I mean, I went, you know, having gone to college in New Hampshire, having come here for 33 years, I've never seen a fall this >> this spectacular. >> Extraordinary. >> I know. >> Don't wait. Don't wait. >> Don't wait. So many reasons whether well our kids
are little or well my job. Don't wait. What if you decided okay I'm going to I'm going to create a new chapter right now. Like absolutely as you're listening to this whether you're 58 like me or 56 like Chris. I'm a cougar too. I guess >> you're um >> don't wait. Like if if I were to say to you okay you've got 6 months or a year to figure out how to get a backpack and go to Europe and be in Europe for a year. I
bet if you gave yourself six months to a year to figure it out, you could do it because you're going to start this in August and that's like eight months from now. >> I know. No. >> Oh, yeah. That's true. access to information that we have today. That's a lot of time. >> That's a lot of time. AI could help you figure out. >> John is so good at that. Every time we travel, he goes to AI and next thing you know, we're going from Seattle
to Roseber, Oregon, and there's like 20 places that we have to stop to see, you know, this view and these woods and because AI tells you these are the things you should see. >> Yeah. You know how when you find an amazing new show, you cannot wait to tell someone to watch it? Well, let me tell you about this new Peacock original limited series, The Good Daughter. It's a thriller wrapped in suspense and an emotional story about love, family, and resilience. Rose Burn and Megan Fea,
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Megan Fe are so good together. In fact, the entire cast is incredible. And if you're like me, you'll be on the edge of your seat for all six episodes. Based on the bestseller by Karen Slaughter, The Good Daughter is streaming November 12th only on Peacock. Talk to us about this funeral that inspired you to shake things up and what it's like at 89 to have so many friends that are, you know, dying and that are deca that are deteriorating or or struggling with dementia like, >>
you know, I think Mel the actual the memorial service that I went to this weekend was after the fact. I had already made up on my mind I wanted to go away. I think what really got to me was I played duplicate bridge at my club on Wednesdays. >> Yeah. >> And our instructor Andy Avery, we had dinner with him. >> Yep. >> And I said to Andy, "You know what? I looked around the room at Bridge tonight and I said to myself, you know, in
5 years, none of us are going to be here. No. what are you gonna do about bridge? We're all old. And he said it it's a dying game in many ways because your generation isn't picking it up. You're not playing bridge. And that's when I really started thinking in 5 years if none of us are going to be playing bridge then we better do whatever we want to do now. >> Yeah. >> Just get up and do it. It's Mel. It's very much like your first
aha when you decided that you had to get out of bed. >> Yes. >> The 5 4 3 2 1. >> Yeah. >> Okay. It's the same kind of feeling. >> Just do it. >> That's true. What are we all sitting around waiting for? >> What What are we waiting for? It's like waiting for GDAU. Did you ever see that? >> Long time ago. >> Oh, long time ago. It's >> funny because we're we're we're waiting for the right time and yet time is the thing
that's most precious. >> Time is not waiting for us. >> Exactly. >> Well, you know what? We're all into making excuses. >> Yeah, >> we all make excuses. Um and one of the things years and years and years ago >> Yeah. We my husband and I went to EST est. >> Yeah. >> And they had taught us all sorts of things. But one of the things that I remember so vividly is when you go someplace, you should get there on time because you're told that you
were going to be there at 6:30. Go be there at 6:30. But the one thing that you should remember is >> if you're late, you're late. Period. There's no excuse. You don't have to go on and on and on about the traffic or my children or whatever. The point is that you're late. And I don't know where I'm going with this. >> I don't either. >> No, I don't know. No, I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess there's there's no excuses. Oh, I
know where I was going. Where we say, "Oh, well, I can't do it now. I can do it. I can do it tomorrow." Because I would think at 89, you got a lot of reasons not to just throw it all up in the air, change plans, go figure it out. Rent out your place, go rent somebody else's place, go spend a year somewhere else. But I guess when I really stop and think about it, time's more precious because you have less of it. That's for sure.
And I think about it all the time. >> What do you mean? >> Well, you know, when you're young, you think about where you're going to go to college, if you're going to get married, what kind of a career am I going to have, all the things, house that I'm going to buy. Now, at my age, I think about I know this is sounds where is my memorial service going to be? How many years do I have left? >> How many years do you think you
have left? >> Well, every year that I have another birthday, I add on another year. I used to think, well, if I could live to 90, that would be great. Well, since that's next year, that's not long enough. So, I think I'd like to live to about 98. Maybe a hundred if I had a mind. I don't want to lose my mind. >> Yeah. >> I said to Christopher, if I lose my mind, you just shoot me. >> Will you stop? Do not say that. >>
Well, you won't know what's happening anyway. So, we're doing no such thing. >> That's true. >> I think it's important to have a number in mind because it gives you something to look forward to and to live for. >> Yep. Otherwise, you're just biting your time. Which I hate to say, I increasingly notice that the older folks in my life seem to be buy just kind of I don't know >> waiting for good >> waiting waiting for the time to pass. We're waiting for the right
time, but time is not waiting for us. And I found it so inspiring how you just walked right into our kitchen this morning and said, "Guess what? I have an idea. I think John and I are going to go live in Europe for a year." And I'm thinking, "Wait, what?" >> Of course, >> girl, you're 90. >> I haven't really convinced John yet. He's a little more of a stick in mud. But Chinese torture will do it. just keep going and going and going. You can
have a really good life. You can have worked hard to be in a really good routine and it works for a while and then all of a sudden you just have this epiphany that even though you're grateful for what you have and even though the routine is nice and enjoyable that you just want something different, you want to experience something different. And I find it very inspiring that at 89 you have the epiphany, wow, I want to shake things up. And so what did you turn
to your what did you turn to John and say? I said, I I know this is crazy, but what do you think about just going and living in Europe for a year? And he said, you're out of your mind. He's like, "Bartender, can we get another cocktail over here?" >> Cut her off is what he should have said. >> And but you weren't out of your mind. You were very clear. >> No, I was very clear. And I had to point out all the things that
he could do. >> Like what? >> Well, he could rent his house. I don't have to rent mines. And I can't rent here in Vermont because all the kids keep coming into my house. So >> Okay. All right. So he could rent his house. What else? >> He has to do something with his cat. >> Yeah. Okay. We're not going to discuss that, but keep going. >> She's nuts. And I said, you know, you are healthy. Who knows? You might have lose your mind like half
of our friends have next year. And we'll go anyhow. You just won't remember. Oh god. So, you didn't get a yes at the bar? >> No. He still thought >> you got a Huh? >> That was three days ago. He still thinks I'm crazy. >> Okay. >> And then tell me what happened. Cuz then you go to a funeral. >> Oh. Then yesterday I went to this memorial service which was so beautiful as they put her ashes into the Batenill River and we all threw flowers.
>> Tell me what Tell me what they did. Sounds really beautiful. >> It was he friend of mine sister died this in car crash. She was 62 and he'd had the same memorial service for his wife like six years ago where they put the ashes into the river and then we all threw flowers into the river on top. >> Oh. Of the ashes. >> Of the ashes. >> Beautiful. >> It was amazing. And that's when her cousin was talking about don't wait Carol like two weeks
ago at night and said when he hung up the phone before he hung up the phone he said we'll talk about it tomorrow morning when we have coffee. >> Yep. >> And she said great I'll see you tomorrow morning. and tomorrow morning came at 6:30 and she hit a truck and that was the end of her life. So he was saying my message is don't wait. You know why did we have to wait till tomorrow morning to why didn't we just get together that morning? >>
Yeah. >> You know what I'm saying? >> Yeah. >> Anyway, that just solidified more for me to say to John, let's not wait. Let's just do it now while we can. >> I am so excited that Hyundai is a new sponsor of the Mel Robbins podcast because, you know, winning an award over and over again takes a real commitment to being the best. And that's exactly what Hyundai has done. Hyundai has been named America's best SUV brand for 2026 by US News and World Report. Now,
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most. Visit ADT.com and call 1800 ADT ASAP to get started today. When every second counts, count on ADT. >> What's it like to be 89? Well, I'm lucky, Mel, at 89 because I'm still healthy. I still have my mind. I can still do all the things that I've always done. A little slower, like we're walking at a pace where I could be a little out of breath. Um, but as long as I'm so lucky and so fortunate, then I Well, let let me back up. Your
podcast >> Yeah. >> that you did with Oprah >> Yes. >> really hit home to me. And I don't listen to all your podcasts, but that one in particular I did. And Oprah said, "We're all been put here for a reason. Not necessarily things happen for a reason, but we're here." Cuz she's very spiritual, as you said. >> And she felt that she had tapped you more or less to take her place, which I thought was pretty powerful. >> And she said, "You need to figure
out why you're here. what is the reason that you're here on this earth? And that I really started to think about it. And there are two things. One, I'm a connector. >> Mhm. >> I know that. So, but more importantly, I know that I'm an inspiration. And I've had so many people say to me, "Oh my god, you really inspire me. You know, you still walk four miles a day. You do this. You do this." And so what Oprah says, if you find if you realize
why you're here, don't stop. In other words, just because I figured out that I'm an inspiration at 89 doesn't mean that I can just sit back and rest on my laurels. I have to continue being an inspiration. And this certainly will inspire more people. >> Well, it also inspires you. >> Yes. >> You know what I'm saying? Like it's not even just >> it's not out there. >> It's not necessarily out there. It's that >> you've got to live your life in a way that you
continue to be inspired. >> Exactly. >> And when you get to a moment in your life and it can hit you at any moment. >> John Gisham came on the podcast and talked about these golden moments when a light goes off inside you and you never see it coming and you're forever changed. And I would say that moment at the St. Regis Bar where you're like right after the light show at the St. Patrick's Cathedral when you have this light go off and you say, "Wait
a minute. How about we go live in Europe? How about we backpack? Why don't we do that?" Like even though I'm 90 and you're going to be you're in your late 80s, let like let's change. That's an example of what it means to be an inspiration. >> You know, there's one other tag that I would put on there. We're talking about money and how people react to money and I think it's inbred like my dad for instance you know no money the electricity could be turned
off but as soon as he got some client to buy some insurance he'd be at the antique store buying a silver service and then he'd bring it home and then my mother would have to return it cuzn't any money but I I think I have that mentality of my father. >> Like I don't worry about it. >> It's as long as >> I'm that way, too. >> You're not. >> I I I the more I think about money, the less I make, the more I don't
worry about it. And I I do I'm a very big saver, though. >> Well, I almost lost everything. >> I I I'm a saver, but but I also can spend. I thought it was very interesting what you were saying though because the idea of doing something exciting and changing things up and you know using your savings or being more strategic and intentional. You were saying that another thing that happens as an excuse for, you know, friends, people your age or 89 is that you've noticed that
people your age don't want to spend the money they've saved because they think they're supposed to keep it for their kids. But that seems stupid that you would limit your own life and rob yourself of experiences. >> But everybody feels that way when you get older. >> Well, let's talk about that cuz I don't live my life as if my parents owe me anything. Well, I know I don't owe me anything. >> I I I don't think you your you kids expect us that we owe
you something or that your parents owe you. I think it's just a mentality and I think that when you get to be older, you're going to think, you know, I want to leave some money for my kids. That's all. >> Yeah, that I understand that. I guess I'm just saying like if that's a that's a wonderful and beautiful thing to do. And I also would hate to think of someone who has the opportunity to travel or to do things at the end of their life that
they're not doing it so that they can leave the money to somebody else. >> Well, I I agree with you 100%. But unfortunately, I don't think that's how people feel. And it's just something that's in our forever. It's been like that. Parents feel like that. >> Huh. >> And I don't think it can change. >> Well, it can change. Well, it can I mean >> absolutely can change. >> But there's one other thing I wanted to add and Christopher will remember this when we were sitting
at the table and Christopher was only about 11. >> Yep. >> Actually, we weren't. We were traveling with his father. Christopher just sat at the table with his hands like this and everybody was asking him questions and you know this and he would just kind of nod and I said to Christopher there's one thing that you should remember if you're not interested you will not be interesting and just think about that if you're not interested in the other person you're not an interesting person >> and
when you get to be old like me. People really don't want to be around old people because they're boring. They are boring. You know, they're going to tell you about their childhood and in their college and their marriage and who cares? But so I think that it's important not only to do something now cuz you can do something that you think is interesting and is fun. And guess what? you can regurgitate it back to your family or whomever and stop talking about your aches and pains.
>> Come on, boys. And Christopher, don't you agree? >> It's true. Because it does seem even at 58, everyone's talking about how this hurts or that hurts or the other thing. >> Oh my god. Everybody talks about their how they feel. >> And do do we really care? No. I mean, if you're throwing up, I don't want you doing that on my carpet, but no, >> I'm not. You You'll take care of yourself. >> I love this idea that you need to push yourself to keep
shaking things up because it keeps your life interesting and then you have interesting experiences to share and interesting people that you're going to meet. >> Exactly. Exactly. Just think of all the people you'll meet if you travel around to all these different countries and particularly with someone like John. We're both chatter boxes. >> What's the message to people that don't have the means? >> Well, if you don't have the means to do it, I think there are ways that you can take this because it's a
really important point, Chris, and just stop and ask yourself, >> is your routine too routine? >> Have you gotten bored of your own life? >> Exactly. >> Are you have you squeezed all the juice from this chapter? And if you're kind of bored with your routine, then that's the only answer that you need. And it tells you that it's time to shake things up. That even at 89, you're still meant to grow and explore and learn and, you know, push yourself into new chapters. And it
doesn't require you to go live in a different country or go travel backpacking for a year. It requires you to wake up and make a decision that you're a little bored of your life. And that's okay. It means you worked hard to build what you've built. You work where you work. You see the people you see. You move through your day how you move through your day. You eat what you eat. And at any moment you can decide, I don't want to spend the rest of
my life in this routine. I want to experience something new. And so Chris, it could be literally the moment you so you go from thinking about it to saying, "I'm doing it." All of a sudden, your mind shifts and you go from seeing the excuses to seeing possibility. >> Yeah. You just need to let the consideration of doing it percolate a little bit. Then it starts to come alive. >> Exactly. >> That's why hopefully John's back at home. It's >> mean. You're not stuck where you
live. You're not stuck in this pattern. You're not stuck in this version. And even when you change and you move or you take on an adventure or figure out how to do it, you're not stuck in it either. Oh my god, I'm always out of breath. I am too. We got to stop. >> Okay. >> So glad >> you said that >> the thing I'm out of I'm out of breath. Um this is the most glorious hall I've ever seen. >> There's one saying that one
should always remember and you know it. It's the past is history, the future a mystery, the present is a gift. That's why we call it a present. >> It's beautiful. So live in the present. >> Live in the present. Thoughts, Jude. >> Oh, Chris. >> Parting words. Parting words. Don't wait. That's all I have to say to all of you. If you have one thing you want to do, if you have a phone call to a friend that you haven't talked to, call them today. Don't
wait. If you have a chapter you want to live, begin it. >> Exactly. >> Don't wait. >> Well, Judy, I love you. >> I love you, too, Mel. >> I'm so excited for you. >> Thank you. Poor John doesn't have a chance. You've already decided it's happening. He's thinking she's already going. That's right. Don't wait. Don't. Okay. Wait a minute. Don't wait. Hey, bud. How are you? Okay. Well, thanks for going on a walk with me and uh my mother-in-law, my husband, Chris, and our dogs.
I hope that this inspired you to shake things up, change your routine, create a new chapter. Uh don't wait, you get one life. And I really hope that you decide to do something really interesting to you in the next year. And in case no one else tells you this, I wanted to tell you that I love you and I believe in you. And I believe in your ability to create a better life. And a better life is not one that you create by waiting. You create
it by deciding to make it better and interesting and adventurous while you still can. All righty. And thank you for watching all the way to the end here on YouTube. I love being here with you. Um, if the subscribe button is lit up, do me a favor and hit subscribe. It's the best way to support your friend Mel Robbins and our team. and uh support us in bringing you the Mel Robbins podcast here on YouTube for free so that you get the expert wisdom, you get
the support and encouragement from friends like me and my mother-in-law and my husband to create a better life. All righty. I know you want to watch another video. You're going to love this one and I will welcome you in the moment you hit play.