Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. >> The Joe Rogan Experience. >> TRAIN BY DAY. JOE ROGAN PODCAST BY NIGHT. All day. >> Pretty balls move to do dressing out of someone's ass and have that work out for you night after night. >> Bob Levy did that for 20 years. >> Yeah. And I I don't think it ever failed. I never think he had a night where it was like, "Ah, dude. Well, keep the dressing sealed." >> How many times did that guy get pink eye? >>
He must have. >> It must be off the charts. He must be like the number one pink eye patient. >> Yeah. Well, when he wrote the when he wrote the joke, it was definitely It's like when a guy becomes a gynecologist, he assumes like, well, it's all going to be hot chicks coming to show me their [ __ ] and then he has to end up doing it to like fat Philly women cuz they come on stage. >> A guy who does that, like if if
that's what you're doing all the time, you're working on vaginas. Like that's like a cop who's like constantly pulling over people who are lying to them. You just assume everybody's [ __ ] up cuz you're only dealing with like mostly broken people. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> People breaking the law. You're only dealing with broken [ __ ] >> Yeah. The ones that are >> Yeah. They're not The perfect ones aren't in there. They're not like, "Hey, does this still look perfect?" >> By the time someone's
going to a [ __ ] do, especially a male [ __ ] doctor, which is really odd. It's really odd. All the different things that you could choose to work on, the brain, the eyes. You're like, eh, vaginas. >> If you would ask me when I was 13, that would have been my dream job. >> Yeah. [ __ ] doctor. >> You thought you thought you're like, well, all these porn stars must have to go to a doctor. I'll be that guy. I'm not going I'm
not going to [ __ ] doctor school for eight years. That's crazy. >> Yeah, there's got to be some of them that are Well, a lot of a lot of doctors uh get into drugs. They because they can prescribe them and they prescribe them to each other. Like uh like I have a doctor friend and he's always on something. He's always doing something. He's always taking things like I need this for that. I need this for that. Like they just take a pill. Like there's a
lot of them. There's a book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie by Joel Wallik. interesting book, but what it's mostly about like nutritional supplements and how really nutrition is the foundation of health, not going to the doctor, and that most of these doctors are really out of their [ __ ] head. And he was just talking all these different stories in the book about different doctors that die of overdoses in the middle of a [ __ ] operation. Like, >> well, that's the number one cause of
death, right? Or one of the top causes of death is malpractice by doctors. They like hospitals are regularly [ __ ] up. >> Yeah, they [ __ ] up. malpractice or something happens during an operation is like the third leading cause of death. >> Yeah, >> that's the worst. He goes, "All right, we're going to cut that tumor out right after I get these spiders out from under my skin. >> Call me right back. I have to go scratch for a little bit away." >> A
friend of mine, his wife went to the doctor cuz she had to get a kidney removed and they removed the wrong kidney. >> What? >> They removed the good one. >> Oh. And then finished it and were like, "You're good to go." And then you figured out they >> they figured it out afterwards and he you know there's a lawsuit the whole thing you know he won't what the pulled it out. Do you think they were like, "Looks good." I've heard people get the wrong leg
amputated. Like, there's a lot of >> What's the review process like on that when they sit everyone down? Like, what went wrong here? It's like, honestly, everyone did everything right except for the [ __ ] guy who got the wrong [ __ ] kidney. >> It's like everything else, man. There's guys who are shitty drivers, but they still have a license, you know? There's guys who are terrible. >> There's guys are terrible carpenters. You hard hire them to build your house, and you go over the
work like, "What the [ __ ] is this?" I think a lot of work like that is it's just people always that are willing to do it. Whether they're good or not doesn't matter. >> Just being willing to do it. Like I'm not a willing to do it guy cuz I go, "Well, I'll do it bad." But a lot of people are just like, "I'll figure it out." >> Yeah. There's also just some [ __ ] who was like, "All right, I'm going to make it
through law school and then that's that." Like I could have gone to law school technically and >> No, you can do that. >> Become a lawyer or go to medical school. They make like movies about this. There's like Bahamas schools you can go to that like >> really takes nothing. Anybody can get in. Yeah. And if you know if you if you graduate with C's, >> you're a [ __ ] doctor. >> If you go to medical school in Mexico, can't you just take a test
and then come over here and be a doctor here? There's no >> Why does everybody always see the cab drivers are doctors? >> Well, there's a difference between driving cars and like that's a big problem with commercial vehicles. They just give illegals commercial vehicle operations and these [ __ ] don't know how to drive these trucks at all. And some of these huge accidents that we've seen over the last few years, it turns out that a lot of them are legal. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah.
They just get But if you're a doctor and you're a doctor, say, in India and you go over in America, you have to go through a whole lengthy procedure to get licensed in America. >> That's always like the joke of it. It was like your cab driver. It's like, well, I was a >> Yeah. Spinal surgeon back where I'm from, but now I smell like this. >> Yep. You guys know that that story about the the one guy who uh there was uh I guess his
kid like adult kid, but his kid was like in a coma and they were going to like take him off life support and then the dad was like, "No, I I can tell he's still there's something left there. He's not going to die." And then he brought a gun and he had like a like a two-day standoff with like the police. >> Oh, Jesus Christ. >> And then his kid came out of the coma and the kid survived. He went to jail for like a year,
but he saved his kid's life. >> Holy [ __ ] Wow. Did you have you seen the phenomen? Everyone keeps reminding me. I forgot about the Anne Hash when they were taking her out like her dead body basically and it popped up and sat up and they shove her back down and put her in the >> big conspiracy. >> Yeah. But she might have been dying. I mean she was in a horrible car accident where she ran into a house on drugs. >> But they she
was like in a body bag and they pushed her back down. Yeah. Uh I think she like comes out of it. I think it's like unzipped. >> Really? >> What? She's popped back up. She popped like the under. But apparently there's phenomenon of that happening. Like there's video you can see in morgs like >> things happen in the body where the dead person's like, you know, like their arm will completely go up and so they just like stiffen in a weird way. And >> well, there's
been people that they brought to the morg that came back to life. >> That's crazy. I know. >> That they thought were dead and weren't dead. They just had such a low heartbeat that they just assumed they're dead. >> Uh some people just get to the door and don't go through and pop back out. >> But there's another problem. The problem is organ donors, you know, um, in order for you to do donate your organ, you have to actually be alive. So, the way they donate
organs is like if you die in a car accident and then they weren't go to the hospital, he's been dead for two hours. >> They're not don donating any organs. You have to be alive. >> I thought that was the whole thing. They can take my they could take my dead organs. >> Yeah, that's what you think. And so this is the problem is if they want those organs and they're pretty sure you're going to die and you're not going to make it, >> they take
them out of you while you're alive. >> The question is who makes the call? And there have been times where people said no, you're not going to do this and then the person survives where they wanted to make the call and start harvesting organs. This person's dying. They're not going to make it, but we would like his kidney. It matches this guy >> because they need them like I guess if you die they start to rot. >> Speculation. I don't know why. You know, I don't
know what the thing is, but >> it's like hostile. >> But what happens is you have to be alive when they're actually pulling those organs. >> My brother-in-law, >> so they'll say you're brain dead. >> And maybe a lot of people are brain dead. And look, I have a friend of mine who has a fake heart. Not excuse me, not a fake heart. He got a heart from somebody else. He got a donated heart. So it's like it really helps. >> Yeah. My brother-in-law has uh
my brother-in-law has two lungs. He has transplanted lungs. >> Cold preservation. Typical windows between organ recovery and transplantation. So this is right after they pull them out of the body. They have to do it very quickly. But when they pull them out of the body, I believe you have to actually be alive. >> Yeah. Yeah. That they can't be oxygen deprived. It says, >> right? Okay. So what does it say? >> The kidney transplant is usually like both people there, right? >> Yeah. They just take
one out and put it in. That's a that's if you're like your wife, like George Lopez, his wife donated a kidney to him. So there's one cut off. The key is whether the organs are still getting oxygen, not simply how long the person has been declared dead. The biggest distinction between the organs left without circulation and organs that a doctor promptly recover and preserve for transplant. So if like at the moment where your heart stops beating, they get it out of you. They can probably use
it. But this idea that like you could be dead and then they bring you to the morg and then they can take your organs, that's not how it works. >> I I signed up to be a organ donor because I assumed that it was like you get into a car accident, you're dead, they can you can give your or organs away. But now it's like do they you think they really give the 110%. Like can I take that back? >> Don't cut me open. They just
hold your license. I scratch that off my license. Sorry, bro. Sorry, dude. That's what I'm afraid of. I mean, I'm not accusing anybody of doing this, but when you are when you have a thing where you can profit from it, >> you run into like weird gray areas where people can make subjective calls. They can make a decision whether or not you live or die and they might be wrong. They might be right 99 times out of a 100, but that one time if that's your
niece >> and then you know what I mean? Like that's someone you love, whoever it is. And then >> if it's me though, when I say if they're going to kill me, if it's between killing me to give someone whatever they need from me, which I'm sure my organs are garbage, >> your fatty liver, >> put your fatty liver into somebody. >> Could you imagine? >> So, we're going to take an enlarged heart and put it into >> fit into a smells like marb. >> That
Christian Slater was going to be on the outside of his body. >> He's like, "Oh, we have a black lung here." >> Sorry, bro. your dead feet. We just kind of cleaned it out before we put it in you. >> That's a wild Yeah. My brother-in-law has two lungs that aren't his. It's so weird. >> Oh my god. >> And that's a life you have to live like uh It's funny. He couldn't come see I open for Shane at the Lincoln Financial Field and my whole
family came to that in Philadelphia except my brother-in-law because it was like >> You saw Shane's SNL set? >> No, it was the the it was Yeah. He was against it. He uh you know that was the wildfires in Canada that were causing like smoke in the he was like he can't go outside in that. It would be like >> certain doom for him the rest of his life and you can't take and for the rest of your life you got to take anti- uh you
know rejection >> uh medicine which is basically >> imunosuppress >> like giving yourself AIDS >> right >> just like sit there open everything it's like well >> but way less fun. >> Yeah. I have a mild cough. I'll see you guys in a month. You guys know the Ben Ascrin story? >> He almost passed away, right? Almost died. He uh got an infection in his lungs and was rotting his lungs out. Like he didn't want to go to the hospital. His wife talked him into going
to the hospital and they realized like, "Oh, you're you've got holes in your lungs. Like, you're going to die." And then they had to do a double lung transplant on a healthy, you know, elite wrestler, former MMA champion. I'm going to explain I want to explain to you the kind of hypochondria I have is I now feel that exact happening to my lungs as we speaking. >> Oh, that's what's happening. >> Like the guys who get their faces torn off and they get a full face
transplant. That that technology has gotten way better. >> It's gotten weird though cuz you got no eyes so you don't face off for real. >> What's your what's your will to live? That's almost the point. If like if you if you're an organ donor and it's like the choice is you can give that organ away or it's like you have a nice long journey back >> to being where people can at least like appreciate you or listen to your ideas again. >> Yeah. >> I don't
know. Give the guy >> a long pancreas. >> Yeah. But it depends on like what it is. Like sometimes people just come back and they're fine. >> Like whatever the like it's not like every time you're almost dead it's the same, >> you know? It's it's it's just weird when someone can make a decision as to whether or not you live or die and it's the wrong decision, but you're dead and no one cares and then the hospital makes money off of it. >> You got
to turn it over to God. Dude, that's what uh Hulk Hogan, remember what Hulk Hogan was talking to his son when his son got into the accident and the friend died and Hulk Hogan was on the phone with his son. I think he's trying to make his son feel better, but you remember what he said? >> No. >> He was like, "I don't know what your friend John did there to get wrong with God but >> I guess he was like, what the [ __ ]
He wasn't saying his prayers. He wasn't eating his vitamins. >> His pythons were under 20 in. >> Bro, when someone people start interpreting the Bible in that way, you're like, I don't think you're reading it. I don't think that's how it works. Like, you're supposed to say, "I'm sorry, your friend's dead." >> Yeah. >> Not giving the reasons why you think he died. >> Also, the reason he died was his son drove them into a treeund some miles. >> The priest gets killed by the cross.
>> Oh, have I seen it? I've watched this a thousand times. Jesus, >> this this priest >> the craziest video because this poor guy was in the middle of like wasn't he talking about like that you have to get right with God before you die? >> I don't know the extra words talking about like the exact Hulk Hogan phrase. >> This is the first This is the first time the church ever was scrambling to find some dirt on this guy, right? >> Like you want to
be like, "Oh, we found out this guy I mean there's kids buried all under the rectory." See, the thing about those guys is they have to be really careful because they all have secrets. And if one guy rats one guy out, then they start doing a deep dive. >> Like >> like Catholic priests and pedophiles, they that's just linked. There's no way you say Catholic priest to someone who's our age or your age and in in any way it doesn't enter into your mind. >> Yeah.
>> Steve's brother is another Catholic, which is hilarious. I just completely though, right? He has nothing. Yes, nothing shame for sure. He probably has and we just haven't found out yet. >> Well, but he's like he's like it's a tough thing when people like I I What's tougher? Telling someone you're a comic or telling someone you're a Roman Catholic priest, but you have to like put that like but I'm a great guy, you know? Like I'm not a person that you want to >> I am
disgusted by children's bodies. >> Yeah, whatever. >> You have to preface every conversation. >> Oh yeah, bring your ugly kid over here. I'd rather [ __ ] a dog. >> What? >> Excuse me? A dog? >> Yeah. >> I love dogs. >> It's weird that that that those two are just connected and we're we try to pretend they're not. >> Well, when was the blow up of it? >> Was it the ' 80s? >> Well, >> 80s 90s where they were really It's like they're move
they're just moving them around. It was like a girls gymnastics coaches. They're just shuffling them around [ __ ] parts of the country. And >> there's a documentary called I think it's called Here No Evil. is one of the worst documentaries you could ever watch. Like don't watch it. U but it's basically about this Catholic priest and they they take him from one place and they move him to another place and I think the story was that he molested a hundred deaf kids. They moved him
to a place where the kids were all deaf and he was just molesting these deaf kids and this was one of the ones I believe the story was this is the ones that ratser you know that one pope that was disgraced and removed he was involved in that. So, a lot of these guys before, you know, when they're moving up the ranks, one of one of the jobs is you take a Catholic priest that's been molesting kids and you move them. >> You just move them
to another area. And they they've been doing that forever. That was their standard policy. >> And you know what they say, wherever you go, there you are. >> Yeah. >> That's Dr. Seuss. That's right. >> It was also a little problematic. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh, yeah. By the way, I didn't know I went to a I think it was in San Diego once that American Comedy Club walking around and there was like an art gallery and it was doing a Dr. Seuss like exhibit and
you go inside and like very quickly you're like yo >> this guy drew a lot of uh pretty racist stuff. >> Oh yeah, he was problematic. >> Oh yeah. >> And old like uh was it Looney Tunes or Warner Brother? There was a lot of stuff racing there's you know the the big bad wolf like what was it? We've seen this before, Jamie. It's like the original one from like the 1930s. So, there's a big bad wolf that's banging on someone's door. >> Yeah. It's um
Goldilocks. >> And they pull the mask off and in the original one, it's a Jewish guy. >> Oh, really? >> And they converted it to a wolf later. >> Yeah. It's great. >> It's great. >> It's so funny. >> You realize this was a cartoon for kids. >> And ahead of their time, how accurate they Jewish person was. Like, is that Ari? But it was like open. This is before World War II, so it was just openly fine to to in a cartoon. >> There was
a racism episode. I saw this on YouTube recently, a racism episode of Bewitched where like the, you know, the blink wiggle the nose trick was to to make this racist feel bad. They were all he was going to see everybody as black and it's the entire cast in blackface, including the children. It's the craziest [ __ ] thing I've ever seen. Well, that is one of the wilder things though, honestly, that you can't change the color of your skin because it's racism. You can't pretend to
be of a different race. >> Well, back in the 80s and 90s, you can just be like, "Oh, I'm a basketball player. You can't just face my Halloween." The amount of people that have blackface Halloween costumes from the 80s and 90s, and they're like, I hope this never comes out. >> Justin Trudeau. >> But we are being conditioned to like >> fear the thing at all. Exactly. Like, I'm certain because I just watched reruns of stuff when I was a kid that I saw that bewished
episode. But it didn't strike me at all cuz I got that it was like an anti-racism message. Do you know what I mean? I got the point. I didn't go just like still no matter what that's But now >> you're like [ __ ] you can't [ __ ] around like that. >> I didn't I didn't think anything about >> most of those things people. >> Yeah. Ted Dancing. Ted Dancer. >> That was the thing that Ronny Rody Piper when he when he wrestled Bad News
Brown at like Wrestlemania 6 or whatever, he came out in half black body paint on his whole body. Rody Rody Piper. >> Half black is fine. That's fine. >> That's not full black. >> At Naked Roast a couple years ago, I painted my [ __ ] black >> and I was like, I just did black [ __ ] and I was going to do black face and I was started to put it on and Yamanika walked by and I was like, ah, this isn't a good
idea. I just left it off. >> Yanika would definitely go. >> It's also bad side. Jesus. >> Also, blackface got like it's too blanket statement because it shouldn't be considered blackface if you're doing brownface >> because that was like that's the be witch thing. Yep. >> That's blackface, which I think hilariously looks less offensive to black people technically, but that's the actual paint they would put on for blackface. This is pitch black like the Al Jolson days. >> That's that watch those menstrual shows. Those are
crazy. >> This is a good question. If let's say you were getting in an organ, you got into an accident and you needed somebody's organ, but they were only going to give you a black guy's organ. Would you take it? >> Uh, Steve, >> yes, of course I would take it. I would for real. question. All right. What if they give you a choice? They take a white guy's heart or a black guy's heart and you get to choose. >> I want to know what they
did. >> Yeah. Give me their their >> Tell me Tell me what these guys did with their day. Did they eat fruits and vegetables and work out all the day? Give me the black guy. 100%. Give me the guy who's healthy. That's what I want. >> Black guy doesn't work out, but he still has a better body. >> Never worked out once. >> This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Hook up a better speaker to your TV and your home theater experience is immediately
10 times better. Or add a little extra treat to your dog's food. They get so happy at dinnertime. Sometimes it's worth it to go that extra step to find people who will do that for your business. Check out Zip Recruiter. Try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/rogan. Zip Recruiter has what you need to find great candidates fast, like powerful matching technology to help sort through thousands of résumés and a feature that puts people who are the most interested and most qualified first. Try Zip Recruiter and meet
great candidates who go the extra step for your job. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free today at ziprecruiter.com/roganogen. That's ziprecruiter.comrogan. Zip Recruiter. Meet your match on Zip Recruiter. >> He goes, "All right. Well, you're going to live healthy, but you're never going to dunk." That's the way it goes. >> You got to weigh the good and the bad, I guess, with everything. >> There's trade-offs. It's weird because white face is
totally fine. Like white chicks, like you could do white chicks, too. >> Of course, >> no one will care. It was a funny movie. I look forward to it. >> Nobody cares. But it's it's it's such a weird thing that you can't pretend to be someone. >> We should make Black. >> That'd be a fun movie to make. Black. >> Boy, you could go to town with that one if you were really bold. >> Oh yeah. >> Yeah. Truski, dude. >> I mean, that's hilarious. >>
Truski did. Erica Kirk. But the [ __ ] people on the right, man, they lost their [ __ ] minds thinking. >> Did they really like the tards? debate on that that much. >> You know, the lowest IQ, farthest right ding-dongs who are their whole identity is like being an online MAGA person. There's just like a low IQ version of that that's out there that no matter what you Oh, [ __ ] YOU. [ __ ] YOU. [ __ ] TRAITOR. THERE'S there's those people. [
__ ] TUSKI. I'LL NEVER LISTEN TO HIM AGAIN. >> And did you were you a big fan before? I loved all his skits. >> He's funny, man. And look, it's kind of odd when your husband dies and then all of a sudden you've got sparklers coming out from behind your ass and you're wearing glitter pants and you're walking out like you're Led Zeppelin in 1977. It's a little weird. >> The Final Countdown should have played. >> It's a little weird. I mean, I don't judge people
on how they grieve. I wouldn't want to be the person who's watches her husband get shot in the neck and then see people celebrate how much that would just psychologically [ __ ] you up. And then I'm sure they probably put you on some medication because it's probably insane to deal with. So they probably give you something to [ __ ] calm you down. And so then they're like, "Listen, Erica, this is what we're going to do. We're going to have crazy music and then sparklers
behind you and you come out." >> Like what is this? That's his funeral. >> Is this your sweet 16? >> How long after he died did that happen? >> Like a week. That was the the memorial. It was like within a week. >> It was. >> The sparklers are wild. Like what are we? And the memes were great. >> But she got hair and makeup for sure. You have to do you got to look good, >> dude. All the memes that came out like a car
with like uh like fireworks shooting off it doing circles and this uh grieving my husband Eric. >> Dude, I I've had an in-depth conversation with my wife about what I expect after I pass away. Like the amount of grieving and the amount of of consoling the like I don't even want her to leave the house >> for five or six months after. >> I'm going to go the Kirk way, dude. I went [ __ ] uh Bigfoot and Gravedigger coming at each other over a bunch
of broken down cars. >> Hell yeah. >> Let's go big. >> You swore on your wife's life last night on Story Wars and we're lying. >> Wait a minute. >> Story Wars. >> You're trying every >> No, I I told the truth. I told the truth. >> You're trying every way to get her out of your life without you having to do anything. >> Too much true crime now. >> No, I expect full like inconsolable like just, you know, wearing black a veil. I want that
level of like pain and sorrow when I'm gone. >> How long before a new guy comes along? >> No. >> Never. >> Never. >> To death, dude. >> Wow. >> To death. >> Now, let's say she dies tomorrow. Tragically, you back on the horse. >> I'm a different I'm a different kind of person. I require companionship. >> I understand that. No one likes being alone. >> No, I don't want to be alone. Okay. But that's my personality. >> Yeah, that makes sense. >> Her personality is
what I'm telling her that she has to be very sad when I'm dead. That's the way it goes. Say it with while pointing with a cigar also does send a nice message >> and you're going to be sad kid. >> Yeah, once I die I don't care. Just create me, you know, move on. I you know I think that's that. I think once you die the lights are out you thing is another scam. >> So you assume you're getting your dad's ashes. >> No, they give
you a mix of ashes. They give you what's in the pot. Absolutely. >> I had my done and I look I literally go >> so you know are in there. All kinds of stuff's in there. When we put my dog down, we had to pay more money to have him cremated separately from other dogs. They told us, they were like, "Look, if we do the regular cremation, you're getting other dogs ashes, but if you do it separately, we'll have a clean thing." And we paid more
money, but they don't even give you just ashes. They give you little chips of bone. There's pieces of bone. It's not >> It It's It's really bizarre. Yeah. >> Was an idea. I like more of like the If I was going to do any idea like that, cuz I think burial's stupid, but the bur, like, you know, they'll put you in a pod that a tree's in or something. I'm like, "Sure, do something." >> Yeah, they they put your body under a tree and they're >>
cost a bazillion dollars though. That's the problem. Those things cost like a gazillion dollars to do it. >> No, that should be standard. That should be how we do it in national parks. >> But I mean, >> you know what the best one is though? Tibetan sky funeral. >> What? What happens there? >> Oh, there's they're This is crazy. So, their tradition is to take the bodies up to the top of a mountain and they break the bones apart and chop the bodies up into chunks.
And the vultures are everywhere. They know that they're going to do this. So, they've trained these vultures to eat these people. So, they bring the bodies, all the local villagers, the people who've died, and they they're up there hacking their limbs into digestible chunks. And then the vultures are just swarming them. They're all over the place. And that's like the reasonable people of that place. >> Well, their their thought is like you are part of nature. You will now get absorbed by nature and you will
go right back into nature. >> Taking on that job though, you have to have like a a Dexter personality. >> Yeah. >> Wow. I mean, sort of. But in these people, it's like just their tradition. The person's gone, and what you're going to do is just sacrifice them to nature. And isn't it better if it feeds these animals that are important for the ecosystem? >> Yeah. until that bird shits on your head while you're walking by. >> If it was somebody if it was somebody's wishes,
do you think you could? >> Yeah. >> Even when they're dead, cut their limbs off. >> Yeah, >> you could. You don't think you have stomach enough? >> Yeah, I could do it. I wouldn't want to do it, but I could do it. >> Wow. >> I think you want to do it. You don't have to do it ever. >> Yeah, but I wouldn't want to do it to a loved one. That's for sure. Like, I wouldn't want to cut my wife up after she's dead.
>> We tried to fillet a fish on the podcast weeks ago. >> I mean, Steve, we looked over at him. He was just like with puddles of fish guts in his hands. >> I watched a video. I thought I had the thing down and I couldn't get a scale off this [ __ ] thing, dude. I chopped the head off. I started just [ __ ] going against the grain. I It was coming apart. I almost cut my [ __ ] hand off with a knife.
I literally was like this. It looked like cerviche when I was done. >> If you go on a boat like a charter boat and go fishing with guys who do it every day, those guys are masters. The way they >> fillet and they're doing it while the waves are Yeah. going up and down. >> Yeah. A little catch and cook. I do anytime I go on vacation, dude, that you catch it that morning, you bring it back to the villa or the hotel, they cook it
up for you. But yeah, >> there's this one dude I'm obsessed with online. He lives in Hawaii and uh I think it's called uh I'll find it. It's called like Sakama or something. Sakama Syndicate. Hold on, let me find it. >> Is that just Paprika? >> God damn it. I got to find this guy. But what he does is um I don't remember the name of his Instagram. What he does is he goes See if you can find it, Jamie. He goes on I think we've
shown him before. He goes online with a kayak. So he's got a kayak. He takes this [ __ ] out. There he is. Sakana Syndicate. That's it. So this dude goes fishing out of this kayak and then he cooks a gourmet meal on the kayak in the middle of the [ __ ] ocean. It's the coolest thing. >> Yeah. They club him in the head to kill him. Now, can I tell you something? Can you back it up, Jamie, a little bit? >> This way this
guy does it. He busts out a chopping board. He's got a knife. He brings different herbs and garlic and minces things up. I mean, literally makes like gourmet meals. >> Pokeballs. >> Yeah, man. I mean, he does a bunch of different things. Sometimes he cooks. He brings a burner on and he'll cook fish, but >> you got me into that guy that at the end it goes super [ __ ] cooking. >> Yeah, he cooks on like a rock and [ __ ] dude. >> Aeraijan.
That guy's awesome. >> You got to be in the winter sometimes. Got to be in the woods. So this dude is like like every week he's doing this and frustrations. >> Yeah, man. It's but it's really [ __ ] interesting to watch. >> Nope. >> Because this dude So right now he's he's just like it seems like he's going to eat those raw. >> But a lot of them he cooks. See if you could find one where he cooks. So he makes these like [ __
] like really complicated meals out there. Feels fantastic. >> If I was sitting across from him when he's holding any of these fish, I would be actively screaming. >> Yeah, dude. I know. I go, "Get out of the GET OUT OF IT'S ANGRY. It's angry at us." >> So this dude uh >> like that's what I tried. >> Oh, is that what you tried? >> That's what I tried to do. I did not end up like that at all. >> It didn't. >> You got to
learn how to do it from someone who knows what the [ __ ] you're doing. >> I know, but >> it's not an unattainable skill. >> I'll be better at it next time. >> You will. >> You'll be back, dude. >> Me and Jay tried. Me and Jay both sliced our fingers within seconds. >> I cut myself. It still has a little scar. >> Yeah. >> It looks so good, though. And it looks like so easy. Do you ever try fishing on a on a >>
Oh my god. >> canoe. I did. I flipped over. I I was tried catching a trout out of a a lake and the whole thing flipped it over. >> This every every one of these videos begins with what I would deem to be danger. >> Yeah. >> Like we're in danger. Like I wouldn't even hang my feet over the side like that. >> Well, there's definitely tiger sharks. >> There's a great video of this guy right there. You got to pound it down good. Flat. >>
We played this the other day. There's a great video of a guy that's on one of these and this tiger shark comes up and bites the side of his kayak and he screams tiger shark and you see this [ __ ] mouth come out of the water and it just Yeah, he lived. He It didn't get him. >> Do all sharks have teeth? Because I caught a I'm serious. >> Cuz a sand shark we I caught my friend's got a boat. He went >> That's the
level of discourse. Look at this. Look at this tiger shark. >> Yo, I was swimming with tiger sharks in Hawaii. So scary. >> Just saying. >> Yeah, bro. I mean, that guy could have lost a foot there for sure. That thing just clamping down on his kayak. >> You know where that never happens? Land. >> Yep. That's what I'm talking about. >> That's what I'm talking about. >> That never happens. >> You know what doesn't happen in the sea? Puerto Ricans. >> That's true. >> I
know. So, you're really damned if you do, damned if you don't. >> Sometimes you got to get your ass out there. >> Yeah. >> So, why were you filleting a fish? >> We did uh end of summer podcast games where we uh you know, stuff we do in the summer. Or if we filet a fish through a football diving contest. What else did we do? >> It was against another. Yeah. Yeah. >> They beat us. >> We did. One of the things was a football throwing
challenge and Jay and Steve, they pride themselves as being like sports guys. So they had to have a uh Jay had to have a blindfold on while he held a hula hoop above his head while Steve tried to throw the ball across the yard through the hula hoop >> without hitting him in the face, groin, body or anything like that. >> Scary. >> Shout out Tristan bowling. Look at this. Joe, you tell me where I went wrong on this. >> Yeah. >> Well, first of all,
you have a sharp knife. >> That's Tristan. Yeah. >> No, we had we had nice knives. We have really good knives. >> They're good knives. >> Okay. >> Oh, that's you, Steve. >> No, no, that's Tristan. >> God, it's so violent. >> Let's go, Tristan. This is >> That's Steve over there. >> Also, there's a race. You can get it done first, too. So, >> and you're filleting it as well. >> Steve, what are you doing? >> Yeah, I mean, you're being too aggressive, >> dude.
It's a more gentle process. First of all, one of the things you do is you start from the top of the back. >> So, you started from the bottom where the guts are when you make the fillet. You start from the back and you slice along the spine. >> Where were you, dude? So, you see where you went wrong? >> That could have helped. >> So, you see where you took a left there, Steve? >> I'm giving out pointers. There's a method. >> I mean, that
is crazy. What's in front of you? >> That looks like >> that pile of [ __ ] in front of you is crazy. >> That looks insane. It looks like a hack on murder. >> That looks like a Tibetan sky funeral. >> Yep. It disintegrated. That's the right word for it. >> Yeah, >> it was pulverized. Put in a crockpot. I think I told you it's a skill. Oh, [ __ ] It's the thing you got to learn how to do. >> It's what I don't
have. I'm I don't I've never taken a fish off a hook. I uh I've gone on the boat with like on the Bert tour where they take you fishing and they're like, "You want to hold the fish for the picture?" I'm like, "Oh, point to it." Probably this guy >> with his pink and fingernails. Dude, I need a glove or something when I go to get the hook out. I'm not like a guy who can just grab the fish because it squirms too much, you know?
You get nervous, you know? It's plus it's living. I'm trying to get it done quick. I >> These guys are real [ __ ] They're not real men like us. >> It's just one of those things you get used to. You know, if you had to live off fish, you'd figure it out real quick. If you got stranded on an island, you would be like, "Remember when I could barely hold a fish?" CBS in the morning on Sundays they show bass fishing and I'll watch that
for like an hour because those guys the way they just sit there spots >> I'm torn on bass fishing. >> Why? >> Because they don't want to eat them. >> They're just [ __ ] with these fish. They're just c they're tricking them and then they're letting them go. It's fun. I've done it. I love doing it. I love bass fishing, don't get me wrong. But part of me is like, what are we doing here? >> We're not even eating these things. >> Torture people eat
them. >> It's just a catch and release, right? There's a bunch of issues. >> When I was young, people would catch bass and >> they would get them like clean and cooked. Yeah, >> they certainly can. You certainly can eat them. The problem is they have forever chemicals in them now. Almost all freshwater fish are polluted. >> Almost all of them. If you eat a freshwater fish from a lake in the United States of America, you're going to get a very high level of PAS. And
these are a bunch of forever chemicals that they come from environmental toxins, plastics, all all kinds of [ __ ] that's in the oxygen or in the air rather. of the atmosphere that gets down into the water from rain, from runoff, from you know, every time it rains, all that, you don't think about it, but all the [ __ ] [ __ ] that's in your car, all your oil dripping, anything that someone left in the gutter, all that [ __ ] runs into the lake.
And when that stuff runs in there, you're it's never going anywhere. It stays in there and it gets in the fish. >> There's no flow. >> Like, what? Pull that up, Jamie. Pull that up in perplexity. like the uh what what the toxins are that you can get environmental toxins from freshwater fish. So, you get >> is it like an aspartame thing where it's like it turns out you have to drink 700 Cokes a day or five Cokes a day >> probably. But I do know
uh Steve Reanella told me about a guy who got real [ __ ] sick because he was a uh a tournament fisherman. So, a freshwater tournament like catch a bunch of perch and they eat them. Perch are delicious. But he ate them exclusively. That was his whole diet and his [ __ ] health fell apart. And it turned out that was why. It was like he was literally poisoning himself. Freshwater fish can contain contaminants, especially mercury, PCBs, and PFAS that accumulate in their in the from
their water and food. The risk depends on the species, the lake or river, and how often you eat the fish. Freshwater fish aren't uniformly unsafe. So, uh, it's just a lot of people recommend that if you're going to eat freshwater fish, don't eat a lot of it. Don't eat it often. >> Yeah. When I went fishing in Puerto Rico, there was what one of the fish that we caught, they were like if it was over a certain size, they were like, "Don't eat it." Because they've
been feeding on like the bottom feeding like um on on the reef, whatever the animals that would eat the reef, and they were like they become toxic the larger they are. So, we had to throw them back if they were like over a certain weight or whatever. We went to the Bahamas and uh there was this guy who is a a guide who was telling us you can eat barracuda that are from this side of this this island but not from the other side. And I
said how come? And he's like well it's like what they eat and and you know like this side is safe and that side's not safe cuz and I'm like so how do we know these aren't moving around? >> I didn't know you could eat barracuda at all. >> Yeah. So I you know was I was with my daughter and I was like we're not eating these. Like you could have them. Would you eat them? He said, "Yeah." I'm like, "Oh, you can keep them." >> Yeah.
>> So, I I didn't eat the fish. I was like, "That makes me nervous as fuck." Because it's like literally a toxin. >> What's your strength? Do you have like a like you probably been introduced to all kinds of strange foods. Where's Where do you draw a line? >> Well, because of fear factor, I've eaten insane things. >> Oh, you tried this stuff? >> Oh, yeah. I ate a lot of it. Uh the the first episode I did it like sort of like to help the
people out. I said, "I feel terrible that you have to do this, so I'll do it, too." And they had to eat a sheep's eyeball. That wasn't that bad. It's just in your head mostly. And I ate >> now. It's also the thing, too. >> Yeah, but it's in your head. It's a sheep's eye. >> It was violently awful to eat, I would tell you. And it wasn't. It was just just meat. And then the other one that I ate I I ate that was pretty
disgusting was a Madagascar hissing cockroach. It's like this big [ __ ] roach. It was And it was alive. >> Just picked it up, started chewing it. Almost no taste. It's in your head. Like in your head, it's like >> But you don't have the almost get you almost. Not just in your head. >> I I lost that. I used to have that bad like in high school if somebody threw like if we were all hanging out together and you threw up, I'd be like >>
I would [ __ ] immediately martial art. >> No fear factor. I saw people puke. I saw people puke literally every day. >> No, dude. Oh, look how young and handsome Joe was. Holy [ __ ] dude. >> I had hair back then. Sort of. >> Wow. >> Look at those lips. >> Thank you. >> Oh, dude. >> Wow. >> See, but it's not that bad. But I did think about it for a second here and then I got it right there. I thought about it.
I think it was because when you bite into the body cavity, it does squirt and squirt juices out >> and I was laughing at the same time. >> I don't even want to hear about this, much less do it. That's crazy. >> But I'm telling you, if you had to eat those to stay alive, you 100% would eat them. It's not that big a deal. >> I uh I used to torture my ex-wife cuz it would give her the gags every time that I think it
went viral for a while. It was Bayer Grills and he put the grub in his mouth and it was huge. bites in the middle and just blast open on his face. >> No reason to do it like that. >> But he wasn't even really doing it. That was the whole thing with Bear Grills, right? He was like staying in hotels. >> Well, he was out there legitimately. He was a legit guy. He knows what he's doing. I think he's Isn't he a special forces guy? >>
British. Right. >> Right. So, what he was doing was showing you what you do and showing you how to do it. But then he would go stay in a hotel. That's the difference between him and Survivor Man. So, what happened was Survivor Man had a show first. And Survivor Man, he doesn't bring anybody with him. He does everything by himself. He brings his own video cameras and it's all legit. And you could see it over the course of the episode. Like, he'll be in the jungle
for seven days. He hasn't eaten in three [ __ ] days. You see it in his face. He's lost a shitload of weight. He's dehydrated. He gets out of there and sometimes he has to go straight to the hospital. Like, he was really surviving on his own. But Bear, they were saying, "Listen, we're going to bring in a lion. we're let him loose in front. He's like, "No, no, no, no, no." Like they tried to do a bunch of [ __ ] like produce it. And
he's like, "You can't do this. I won't let you do this." And so then they said, "Well, we'll do it with somebody else." >> And that's where Bear Grills came. >> Bear Grills. I think >> according to Survivor, man. >> Yeah. >> I don't know if this is the complete true >> to Joe Average, >> Bear Grill. If you were like, "Yeah, he'd go like rip the skin off a snake and then piss in the skin and make it his like, you know, neck cooler for
the desert." And then at the end of that they go, "All right, cut back to the hotel." Like, he still [ __ ] did that. They still did that. >> That's [ __ ] nuts, >> dude. Imagine why wouldn't you sleep in a hotel if you could? Like, what are you stupid? >> Imagine being a survivor, man. You haven't eaten in 5 days and now you have to set up a camera to film yourself. You're like, I got to set up a [ __ ] camera,
get my mic on. You're like, you're not even thinking like you have to think about >> eating is should be your show alone is a similar thing. They take like people and that's great. and they put them in like it's not even like anywhere like it's like deep in Canada in the cold and it's like it's like 30° when they start and then by day 60 it's like 8° cuz you have to do it alone each other to win the thing you have to stay out
there the longest. Whoever stays out there the longest wins like4 million but check it out. You don't know >> when the other people tap out. So you don't know if there's 10 people left. You don't know if there's two people left. You're just sitting there with your thoughts being like what the [ __ ] >> It's a great show. It's a great show like crazy huts and [ __ ] >> There was one season where the guy was like, "I'll stay out here. I kind of
like my life out here now." >> Yeah. Well, my friend Jordan, he was a episode, he was on one of the episodes of the podcast. Jordan Jones, he did it and he's a real like survival guy. Like he's lived with uh people in Siberia. He lived with these uh these tribes that like they heard caribous and [ __ ] And he brought with him a bow and arrow. So he killed a moose. And then he had a Jordan Jonas and Jordan had to fight off a
Wolverine with an axe cuz the Wolverine was trying to steal the fat from his moose. >> And plus the Wolverine can regenerate. So how you going to kill? You know, >> he killed the Wolverine on camera with a [ __ ] axe. >> They got to like hang the meat. If they get like a good kill in the beginning, they got to like hang the meat and keep it for long can keep it. >> And if an animal comes and gets you, like there ain't nobody
there to help you. >> Not in time. >> [ __ ] if that wolverine turned on him. If it just got a hold of his calf and just ripped his Achilles tendon apart and he started gushing blood out of his leg, 100% he's bleeding out before anybody gets to him. >> They give you a phone if you want to tap out. You like one button and they're like, "Yeah, come get me." They bring in a helicopter like two days later and they get you out days
later. >> Yeah. >> A lady got killed a few years ago. Not on the show, but a lady got killed by an otter. >> An otter killed her. >> What a weak [ __ ] I think I think if it bites the inside of your thigh, I think you're [ __ ] >> I think if it penetrates through one of those arteries, I think you just start spraying. And if you don't have a tourniquet and you don't know how to apply it correctly, you're [ __
] >> I was picturing more like the otter had disgusting viruses in its mouth or something and she got like her leg like >> amputated or something. She's a certified swim instructor from Reno. On a routine routine morning swim, an otter grabbed her leg with humanlike force and pulled her underwater. The animal tore off her goggles and repeatedly bit and clawed her face, nose, cheek, armpits, and legs for about 5 minutes. She thought she fought the animal off, used her swimming skills to climb up onto
the boulders, though the otter followed her out of the water and circled below. Jesus. >> She sustained deep bites and scratches requiring 38 stitches plus rabies and tetanus vaccinations. So that guy, that lady lived. But there was a lady a few years back who got killed. >> I'll [ __ ] up an otter. Joe, you have these conversations about trying to like choke out a mountain lion. I'll [ __ ] [ __ ] up. >> You would be so You wouldn't even know what's is this
an otter coming out? What is like >> is that a seal? I couldn't tell. I couldn't identify an otter. >> I think I would run till my legs didn't work and then accept death. I would just be like, "Well, here we go." Or I try to like choke it. I would try to like person fight it. >> It's always thumb in the eye, punch it in the tip of the nose or something like that. >> You got to get behind its head. You got to grab
You got to get control of behind its head. It's not a big animal, but it's the chaos of the moment and it's the fear and you're fighting it off. Most important thing is control. You have to control its head and then pin that [ __ ] down and then you put your body weight on him and then you kill him. And then I whisper in his ear, "You made me do this to you." >> This lady was another lady. I was viciously attacked by a group
of otter. Bro, >> 10 different otter got her at once. >> Oh my god. Like the Cornell of otter. >> Man, Asians feel nothing. >> Tearing my arms, legs, and even the back of my scalp. Holy [ __ ] man. Yeah. Like if you're a small person like this lady and a group of otterters comes and gets you. >> I don't even think she's in the water. It sounds like SHE WAS OUT. >> OH MY GOD. SHE WAS IN THE PARKING LOT. >> WELL, that would
take me off guard. Oh my god. >> If I was in a supermarket parking lot and a bunch of otter jumped out, I'd be like, "Fuck, what's happening?" >> Is that what you're calling now? Otter. Imagine the explain to the cop. Oh, she pulled out her coat. Of course she did. >> Let's not go. I couldn't resist capturing the moment on video marveling at how endearing these creatures seemed. >> Oh, that's crazy. >> She was gushing about how adorable they were. I was in Utah a
couple years ago and I saw a badger on the road and it was at night time and I ran out with my phone to try to get a film of the badger and the badger puffed up and started like marching towards me and I [ __ ] panicked like a little girl like I just ran and got back in the truck. >> How does the bad like it puffed up like it's like >> it got like this. It got like this like what [ __ ]
and started literally just walking straight towards me like not nervous about me at all. I think that's the energy of most What if ducks cross the street? All the cars just sit there and wait. >> Those are urban ducks. >> They don't speed up. They just kind of take a soft like little like Yeah. It's going to take a minute. >> Yeah. But when you shoot at them, they get accustomed to flying away very quickly. See, this is why the difference like you ever see those
Colorado towns where elk just wander through the towns. >> It's crazy. >> Yeah. There's uh Evergreen, Colorado. Uh there's a place uh that's above Boulder. It's beautiful. And one of the things about Evergreen is they have a migration of elk that go through the [ __ ] center of the town every year. So through the center of the town, you're you're hanging out trying to go to work and there's 40 elk in the middle of the street. Like here's one just chilling. It [ __ ]
this guy's car up. There's a great video of a guy who's uh trying to talk [ __ ] to an elk and it flattens his tire. >> But uh in Evergreen there's like march, but that's because no one's shooting at them. Here they are. So they're accustomed in their world, they have patterned that, oh, if you go near the roads and you go near the buildings, no one shoots you. So that's what they do. >> This is an average street with deer in New Jersey. I
don't know how long it's been since you've been in New Jersey, but Texas, too. Texas, too. But these are elk. So this is like the males are an 800 lb animal and they're wandering down the streets and they're everywhere. But if you saw them in the woods, they would [ __ ] smell you and run from you immediately. They would never Yeah. So, it's the same thing with ducks. >> Like the ducks are respond like was waddling across the street because they know no one wants
to run them over because they're cute. >> Like there's a massive [ __ ] herd on the side of this road. Oh, that one's got a collar on pimping. >> What are these? >> That's an elk. That's a female elk. So look, they're in the middle of the road just chilling. >> Wow. >> But it's because they're dark. It's their spot. >> Maybe don't drive there, >> you know. That's probably That's Colorado. Yeah, Colorado has more elk, >> more population, a larger population of elk than
any other state >> and you're allowed to hunt them. >> Yeah, you can hunt them. It's it's you have to get a tag and it's hard to find them. It's like you'll find those that are in the the towns, but once you go into the mountains, they know what's going on. They know the game is a fight. >> Is there uh can you hunt them with shotguns and arrows or do you have to just do >> No, you can use it's depending on what time of
the year. So, there's an archery season. It's usually early. So September is the archery season and then you can only use archery equipment in a lot of states and then there's a rifle season afterwards and then there's a late archery season. >> They I think on Long Island you can only kill the the deer with a bow and arrow. No. >> Well, that's because you're in a [ __ ] >> Yeah. You can't start shooting >> residential neighborhood. Yeah. But bows and arrows even then you
got wahoos like uh our friend Bruce out there. One of his [ __ ] neighbors at their house got hit by a crossbow bolt cuz the neighbors are they're poaching deer. That's crazy. >> There's just deer in their neighborhood. They're everywhere. And look, deer are [ __ ] delicious. And, you know, feel like I could go hunting or I could just go right here and shoot a deer and drag it into my garage. No one's got to know. >> They come up to and they eat
my hydrangeas. I want to beat them to death with a baseball bat. >> Not your hydrangeas. >> I I have a batting cage in my house. So, we got a a deer got its antlers caught in the cage. >> And it was [ __ ] I got the video. It's flipping flipping flipping. I'm away in Denver on the road. My wife's freaking out. She calls the cops. They send a female cop. She comes down. She looks at it and she goes, "We got to wait for
somebody back up, right? Wait for a male cop." >> I swear to God, a male cop shows up. He's like, he gets out of the car. He goes over to it, right? He grabs it by the neck, brings it down. He goes, "Do you mind if I cut the net?" And my wife goes, "Yeah." He goes, "You should ask your husband. These are pretty expensive." She's like, "Cut the [ __ ] net." She cuts the net and he he the deer gets out and it runs
away. And he goes, "Chances are it's going to be dead in like 10 minutes. their hearts like he said the heart the adrenaline goes so fast their hearts explode >> most yeah yeah like most times they're like they're so >> sounds like an old wife >> that doesn't make sense because if they get away from a mountain lion if they get lucky like don't they live like what what a stupid >> if it hits the punch of death so who knows I don't know this thing
for like a half hour trying to rip itself out of this hanging itself swinging back and forth >> maybe you think it's funny Joe how uh synonymous you are with elk meat. It's like a It's like a Roganism thing. If someone's like, "Hey, I'll do Rogan." Goes, "What are you guys have some elk meat and gloves?" Just like the obvious thing. >> I think you've taken pictures of elk before. >> Oh, yeah. 100%. >> You cook it? >> Oh, I eat a lot of it. >>
Are you a great cook? You cook yourself? >> What is this? It's Yeah, I do. The condition is called capture myopathy. Also known as exterioral external >> external external myopathy. So, deer can die from extreme stress and struggling after getting stuck in a fence. Wow. >> Yeah. >> More than just simply being scared, intense fear, prolonged struggling restraint can trigger severe muscle damage and overheating will potentially fatal effects on major organs. >> If you wouldn't mind, uh Steve's got a big reading exam coming up soon.
Steve, you want to take a whack at one of these paragraphs please? >> Whoa. >> Uh, a deer may collapse during the the ordeal or initially look okay after the release and then deteriorate hours or days later. Signs can include weakness, stiff muscles, tremors, dark urine, and collapse. >> Who's out there checking deer urine? Let me check to see if Rosco is going to be okay >> and collapse. That's a pretty good sign. When the deer [ __ ] collapse >> when they collapse. >> Yeah,
dude. Driving at night in Jersey is terrifying. You watch them on the side of the road. They have a lot of deer in Texas, right? I think Jersey is the number one state for the most population of I could be wrong about that, but I believe it is. >> I think you might be right. And they jump they jump out in front of your car and sometimes they'll jump through your window and then kick you to death and then [ __ ] run away. >> My
friend Cam, he lives in Oregon and the dude in his town died because the guy in front of him hit a deer. >> Oh. >> So the guy in front of him hit a deer and he's behind. The deer flips through the air and goes straight through his windshield. Damn. >> And just merc him on the spot. >> Do you know who Sideneck is? >> What? Side neck? >> Do you know who sidneck is? [ __ ] I'm Sidneck. >> No. >> No. I would say
I don't know either. I don't think I've ever wanted to know anything more in my life. He's a I would say he's a Canadian phenomenon. Jamie, you familiar at all? >> Um he's >> Oh, that guy. I've seen that guy. >> Side neck. >> Like he got paralyzed or something. >> Well, he's not paralyzed. What happened to him? We we dug deep >> deep dive. He's from Canada. He was driving, hit a moose. Moose came up on the windshield. uh kicked through and like his legs
went through the windshield and the moose buck like kicked his [ __ ] head like a cartoon. >> I swear to God kicked his head >> to the side forever >> and now he's side neck. >> Well, it seems like his right arm doesn't work right. >> No, no, no. He explains it all in the one song. >> The moose the whole >> No, no, no, no. >> That's He just leaves that part out. >> He wrote He wrote a diss track on the moose. Why
would you leave that part out of your origin story? That's one of the greatest origin stories. >> He's probably waiting to get his legs under him. Then he's going to make it his opus. You know what I mean? >> Yeah. It's going to be his [ __ ] >> He's not ready to address that just yet. Right now, he's getting his feet wet. >> Do you ever see cross country like runners get blasted by deer? >> Oh, yeah. >> Oh, dude. Yeah. Like it'll just they'll
run right through you and [ __ ] truck you, dude. Like you're not even there. I think the one that freaks me out the most is motorcycle guys >> when they're going fast and canyon runs like and then you just see a blur of brown and then boom and then you just damn. >> And you know these [ __ ] cats are on a bike going 70 mph through the canyon sideways and then a deer just jumps in front of them. Look at all this momentum.
>> Plus the bones that you're running into and the the possibility of a [ __ ] antler going through your face. >> It's not good. >> Yeah, you're [ __ ] man. I mean, if you get hit, I don't care if you have a go your goggles on. Is that going to protect you from an antler at 70 mph? Like straight pouring to the center of your [ __ ] head. >> No. Look at this. >> I hit my head on my wife's [ __ ]
trunk, dude. You think I'm going to survive a goddamn deer collapse? >> That's hilarious, dude. No way. >> Yeah. [ __ ] it. [ __ ] riding a bike and getting hit by a deer. Just having a good time. [ __ ] freedom. I love the idea of getting a motorcycle, but I'm too much of a [ __ ] to pull the trigger. >> That's not [ __ ] >> Yeah, that's not [ __ ] >> Yeah, just being smart. Reality at this point, it's I
I same thing. I've always >> So fun. >> I've always wanted to ride a motorcycle. The only time I've been on a motorcycle was twice on the back holding a man's waist while my calves got burned by the exhaust. >> I went and uh here this guy gets wiped. CHECK THIS. BOOM. OH, [ __ ] TREES. Bikes [ __ ] >> Holy [ __ ] >> Yeah. Holy [ __ ] And dear. Watch this. He doesn't even have a chance. >> Oh. Oh my god. >>
[ __ ] >> I'll tell you the saddest thing I've ever seen when driving home in Jersey is when you see a dead one on the side of the road and there's another one standing next to it. Like just sad about it. Look like >> especially a baby and the mom. It's like it's like looking out. It's like looking out after it's like it's like standing in front of it almost like so the cars don't hit as weird. >> Never sad good every time. >> The
only solution is to have predators in your neighborhood. That's not good either because then move out and then they start eating your dogs and cats. >> That's how California handles it. Like California with their mountain lion crisis, like they want to pretend it's not a crisis. They [ __ ] captured mountain lions in San Francisco and they do a they check out their digestion to see what they're eating. 50% of their diet was pets. >> Really? >> Whoa. >> Yeah. >> Cats and dogs and >>
Yeah, man. Yeah, man. They're monsters. They're [ __ ] monsters. >> That happens a lot, too. Like it'll be like a dog at the edge of like a little lake in Florida or like a bottle of water, then an alligator comes out and just pulls. >> That happened when I was a kid. I lived in Florida. I lived in Gainesville and this lady had like some little poodle type dog or something and she was just walking it on the thing and this gator just came up
and snatched it and dragged it into the water. It was the talk of the town. >> Yeah. >> There was one guy who jumped in and got the dog back from the alligator. That's a famous It's a famous story. Yeah. >> I would do that for my dog. >> AI. >> Oh, I remember that. There was a video a few years ago. Yeah. >> Yeah. It was a a old guy, right? And he's like beating the [ __ ] alligator. Let go of his dog. >>
Yeah. >> Yeah. [ __ ] yeah, dude. >> I would get a big dog. >> I got a little dog, too. I have a regular sized dog. I have a golden retriever, but then I have this little dog. It's a King Charles Caval. This is Here's the guy. >> Yeah, I have a cocker spaniel. >> Yeah, that's a little ass alligator and his dog. >> That guy's getting his [ __ ] fingers right there in the jaws, man. That's crazy. And he gets it loose. >>
Yeah, the cocker spaniel. >> And then you got to pull it apart like how King Kong killed that lizard. Remember? Just [ __ ] rips his [ __ ] splits. It >> was a dinosaur, right? King Kong killed a dinosaur that way, right? >> Today is brought to you by the number one brand for better sex, Blue Chew. Blue Chew Gold is a 4in-one powerhouse that gets your brain and your body on the same page for sex. Two ingredients get the blood flow pumping, and two
ingredients prime your brain for arousal. No overthinking, just peak performance in as little as 15 minutes. Look at the stats. Gold is three times stronger, five times faster, and eight times longerlasting than old school methods. Blue Chew Gold is the real deal. Right now, buy two months of Blue Chew Gold and get the third free with my code Rogan. You'll also receive free overnight shipping. That's promo code Rogan. Head over to bluechw.com for details and important safety information. Check it out. This ad and the products
being advertised are intended for a United States audience. >> Rip it jaw. >> That's what you got to do. That [ __ ] And then you turn that thing into a belt. [ __ ] you. You [ __ ] [ __ ] But anyway, I have a King Charles cavalry here. Like I I've never really been into little dogs. I [ __ ] love this little guy so much. He's so enthusiastic. He's so fun. Like all he wants to do is just kiss you and jump
all over you. And he's like he's a puppy. He's like a year and a half old. But like when I come home he's like he just goes [ __ ] crazy. He leaps up. I pick him up. He's kissing me just squirming and having fun. He's just he just loves being around people. He's so sweet. He's like the sweetest little dog ever. It's like oh I get it. It's not going to guard your house. It's not It's not There's nothing. >> No, but they think they
will. My dude, my cocker spaniel, she thinks she's a [ __ ] like a beast. She barks. She's like right let you know something's up. You know, >> there's an interesting thing. I I have a dog for the first time four years now. First dog I've ever had in my life. So, I never quite got it before. But I do feel this sense of uh I wanted to have more appreciation. Like >> you want the dog to have more appreciation. >> There's no real appreciation show
of a dog. Man, you were found in a box on the side of the road. Look at your life now. Why are you just staring at me? >> Why are you not licking my face constantly? >> Uh I'm judgmental of her for it. But it's hilarious. >> It is interesting. But I also think that my dog, >> if she was taken by somebody tomorrow, like kidnapped, she would just be like, "I love you now." >> Oh, they all would. >> They all would. There's no loyalty
like that. They have like probably a half a day of memory. >> Yeah. I don't know about that. Some dogs get very attached to people. >> Oh, dude. Do you see those videos of like what was the latest one? There was a guy who was an ex like Marine going through TSA and a [ __ ] dog jumps over the TSA people and just starts going crazy for him. It was like his military dog from when he was in the milit. But that's his favorite person.
>> It was like crazy that >> it's not real Jamie. AI GENERATED. >> GOD DAMN IT. >> HE WAS ONE OF THE FIRST ONES THAT GOT EVERYBODY. >> NO. >> Are you serious? >> Seth McFarland. >> That dog didn't give a [ __ ] about that guy. >> Seth McFarland did a cartoon thing with that where they see a a wolf over the ridge and then they tell the whole story of like that's a wolf that he saw years ago and then they get up to
it and it wasn't the wolf and it eats them all. >> There is a real video though of one where the the guy meets it at the airport and uh the dog doesn't recognize him immediately. It takes a few seconds and then figures it out and then starts wagging his tail like crazy and kissing him. >> Ari showed me when he came back from his like, you know, trip with wherever the hell he went all over the world. He had his dog like at his house
and what he did was he put his shoes down before he came into the house and they had him and and the dog started smelling his sho and went crazy and then just started looking around the house and then Ari came in and went nuts. But he's like they just smell they know what like that what their owners feel like. >> Well, Ari's dog is a good example. That dog, Bandit, that dog is 100% attached to Ari. Like when Ari goes to the bathroom here, it
waits outside the bathroom door. Just sits there and you can't talk to it. You can't like, "Hey, Bandit, what's going on?" It doesn't give a [ __ ] about you. >> Is that good or bad? >> That that kind of a test. It's hard to leave. >> That was a rescue dog. And I think that dog had a horrible life and now it has an amazing life. So it associates that guy with the love. That guy's That's my That's my savior. >> Yeah. Which >> and
that's the kind of appreciation I don't think this [ __ ] [ __ ] has given me. Well, different dogs are different ways, you know. >> You don't mind it. You had I I had a big dog and now we don't have one, but we're thinking about getting another one. And the consensus is to get a small dog, which I'm sort of like, h, but it's not a bad deal, I guess, right? >> Well, I have two dogs. So, the other dog is a normalized dog.
He's a golden retriever. >> And, you know, he he's the worst watch dog than the little dog. He loves everybody. That dog has no favorites. Everybody's his best friend. Okay. >> Like everybody who comes over the house, if you guys all came out, he would just go to you to get pet, then go to you to get pet, then go to you to get pet, then come and check my ex-girlfriend. What is it? My any man, >> my dog's like that, too. That's why I feel
like >> song many men. >> If my dog though growled at somebody or just instinct didn't like somebody, I would trust that instinct because she's same way. It's like she loves everybody. So, if she was like not into someone, I'd be like, "This guy's got it's like a I want to have the power. You touch him and see his murders he's committed. And my girlfriend was super attached to me for a minute. We and when me and my girlfriend would have sex, >> like she would
go outside of the door and she would just scratch at the door and whine >> and it was the most distracting thing ever. Then I'd let her in and she'd just sit on the top of the pillow and stare at us while we were [ __ ] >> You have to invite her in. >> Yeah, >> it's polite off my head. >> That's crazy. >> Yo, get over here, puddles. >> Come here. My dog has zero instincts. Like zero survival instincts. It's He's hilarious. He ate
two lbs of gravel cuz uh there was some chicken some chicken food got spilled on the gravel. So he ate the chicken food and then just kept eating. And uh the way we found out is uh I I came home and he looked [ __ ] up. Like it just didn't look good. I'm like, "You okay, buddy?" And then he vomits up a bunch of rocks and then he has diarrhea. The diarrhea has rocks in. I'm like, "What the fuck?" I take him outside. He's running
around [ __ ] all over the place and throwing up. Then I have to take him to the vet and they go, "Yeah, he swallowed a bunch of these. We're going to keep him overnight to see if he gets see how it works." So he comes out, he's got a IV in his arm and [ __ ] conas and a little bit sad, you know. And then what does he do immediately? He finds a turtle in the backyard. Eats that like I mean immediately within days
and everything. He just like >> he found a [ __ ] turtle and he bit into the turtle and he ate turtle shells. I had to take him back to the hospital. He had just gotten the cone off. We didn't really have to keep the cone on him though because he wasn't really [ __ ] with his uh his IV bandage hole where the area that's what they you make sure they don't lick that spot. But he was uh he just doesn't have any instincts. He's
just love like everybody like if you come over the house you could have a [ __ ] machine gun and be wearing a mask and you be like, "Hello, hello. I'm your friend." >> My dog doesn't give a [ __ ] about fireworks. Loud noises. She's never like startled. >> Oh, my dog panics with fireworks. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah, he panics. The little one doesn't, but the big one, the Marshall, he hears fireworks like he just starts running around the house and whining. Like if
you're trying to watch a movie and there's a storm outside, you're [ __ ] >> When's the last time you've really enjoyed fireworks show? >> I love fireworks >> still. >> Yeah. My birthday's the 4th of July. And I'm like, all right. >> I love cell phone videos of fireworks. I love going over my old cell phone videos of fireworks >> of ones that you saw personally. >> Yeah. You got to watch them over and over again. Like, wow, what a memory. Have you has anybody
ever watched a cell phone? >> I never I watched the next day >> and nobody ever watches it. Of course >> and then you never watch it again. I have probably four hours of firework videos in my phone that I've never even looked at ever again. >> That's my feeling about concert phones always is you're not going to watch this. >> You're not going to watch >> one of the wildest videos and this is before AI. There's a dude. He's got I don't know an M80
or some kind of a some kind of a firework in his hand and it blows off in his hand. blows his hand sideways like you see blood is pouring out of his hands and then this dude shotguns a beer. >> Holy [ __ ] >> While he's holding his hand, you could see the damage in his hand. His hand's blown apart. >> It's like a big Hispanic guy. >> Yeah. >> And the dude shotguns a beer while his hands and then it shows the aftermath. His
hands like done. >> Oh my god. I created this thing that I do the fireworks in. Like it was part of our play stage play like structure. It's like a tube. So I put cinder blocks around it and I put the boxes in. So I light it. So in case it goes to the side, it [ __ ] hits the tube. We've had We've had boxes turned to the side. It just shoots in. It just hit >> third floor window. >> I was one year we
didn't have a tube. It went into the bushes. People were [ __ ] going out running for every Now I got the tube, dude. It just shoots. >> You do your own fireworks. >> I do my own I buy like $800 worth of fireworks. >> You're an animal? >> Yeah. I love it. You're never Where do you live? >> Long Island. In Long Island, do they have those places where it's like like a little stand? >> No, it's illegal in Long Island. So, I got to
go to Pennsylvania. >> Well, you get them uh there's you got like in Jersey, you go to 7-Eleven and it's the fireworks. They don't shoot up in the sky. They shoot like 8 ft in the sky. >> They're okay. >> So, they're kind of fun. You get a box for like 40 bucks. >> In Texas, you can buy nuclear bombs. You can you can literally you go you go to the [ __ ] a truck that pulls over like on the corner of the road and
you could buy things that you can't believe are legal. I've launched these [ __ ] things from my backyard. You watch them shoot in the sky and you're like >> that's a real firework like a legit Disneyland firework. JUST SIX, seven of them in a row. Look at these guys. And >> that's what Look at the tube. >> That's the kind of tube I have. So yeah, >> they light it and run. >> Yeah, you can you can buy straight up. >> Small fires around the
neighborhood. Good call, Steve. >> You could buy those a mile from my house. >> Oh my god. >> Yeah, they can do anything here, dude. They gave Ker They gave Ker a machine gun. >> Look at that. >> Look at that. That's Well, I launched one of those like that in my backyard. I'm not bullshitting. Here's the >> Is that a success? >> Yeah, that's not good, dude. Look, you just give that to anybody cuz they don't have to point it at the sky. Look how
far that's going. That's what I'm saying. >> Imagine if you pointed that at your ex-girlfriend's house. You like you set it up in the back of a pickup truck, wedged it in there, lit that [ __ ] just angled it right. >> Oh, yeah. We used to have Roman Roman candle fights when we were kids. When we were teenagers Oh, Jesus Christ. >> We used to make chlorine bombs. Do you ever make a chlorine bomb? >> What? No. >> Is that the guy? >> I'm not
a homegrown terrorist handp. >> Look at his hand IS BLOWING. >> OH MY GOD. >> OH, REALLY? That's not even the guy I was talking to. Oh, that's horrible. That's horrible. >> I was in New York City. I think >> I appreciate the guys just like, "Well, this is already a situation. There's no rock and roll. >> Can't turn Can't turn back time, right?" So, this is the situation. >> The toothpaste is out of the tube, my friend. I'm already in my underwear. I'm already in
my underwear on the floor. >> Look at it dripping dangling. >> I mean, his hand is blown [ __ ] apart. >> It's like a claw now. >> And then he just drinks. >> What are you going to do? >> Is that Uncle Laser? I mean, >> did you find the one of the guys worked to that guy's hand? I wonder what >> before we Can we find out what happened to that guy's hand? >> Followup. >> Yeah, as a follow-up. >> It actually works perfectly.
>> Yeah. >> Yeah, that's the thing. >> Maybe it's better. >> Now, all the scar tissues somehow held the hand together in a better way. >> You never heard of chlorine bombs? We used to make those when we were kids. You take a 2 L bottle of like an empty 2 liter bottle of soda. You know those chlorine tablets? You crack up two of those, put them in the bottom. >> No, Steve alcohols, [ __ ] twist it, shake it, and run, dude. And it just
sizzles up, and it just explodes. And if you're within like a perimeter, you get like you'll get knocked on your ass with a huff of chlorine. >> So, you could potentially make one of those and chuck it into someone's window. >> You could put in a mailbox, allegedly. >> Yeah, but it would take a while. >> The mailbox thing, though. Yeah. Okay. >> You shake the mail. You have about 15 seconds before it goes off. So, so if someone it's like someone's window was open >>
and you know you were you were on the ground floor and they were on the second floor. You could like >> put the lid on that photo. >> Shake it. Throw it in. Dude, >> that's the guy's hand. >> OH MY GOD. THE THE other photo here is uh very graphic. >> Okay. >> His hand turned into a swast. >> Let's go. What's the other photo? Here we go. HERE'S THE NEXT PHOTO. >> OH MY GOD. >> Oh my god. >> Oh, so he lost his
whole hand. Dude, that opened. It's like Terminator 2. >> Yes. >> That's crazy. That's crazy. >> Oh my god. >> He might have kept a finger. >> [ __ ] a. >> No. At that point, just cut it off. >> Give me a little Give me one of the robot hair. >> Just Yeah. Give me a claw. Like one of the the new >> I'll get the little Tyrannosaurus Rex head like they have on those stick things. How fun would that be? >> Don't they really
have the ones you could just twist on and make a different like >> like one to hand ones like you can >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You know, like a claw. Yeah. Like for different uses. Yeah, I think James Bond, one of those James Bonds. >> Yeah, >> that was a thing. >> I met a dude at the comedy store. It was this guy from Australia and he got his uh hand and his leg bitten off by a shark. And so he had a carbon fiber leg
and a carbon fiber hand. The guy walked around no limp and he could shake your hand. >> Light as a feather, too. >> Oh, that's awesome. >> Yeah. Look, you get tools. >> Whoa. >> That's better. That's better than a real hand. >> That's better, dude. I would rather than having a deformed claw. Yeah, >> definitely better than having a claw. And maybe you could put a vibrator in the other end of that thing. >> It's definitely not better than having a hand. >> Definitely not.
>> If you put a vibrator on, how are you going to get to possibly get it in your ass? There's no angle. >> You can make an angle. There's another >> It's a different attachment. Yeah, dude. >> Oh, an elbow. I understand. Give you a give you >> It's like that thing you got to put between the uh front and and back of the vacuum cleaner. >> The long piece. >> Yeah. The extension. >> Yeah. It articulates. You have to screw something in the middle of
it and then it comes out. >> If they start making body parts that are better than our parts, it's going to be a problem >> because people are going to want to be cyborgs. >> People already get fake tits. They don't like their tits, so they get a fake one because it makes their tits be look better. If you can get arms that worked way better and you actually feel through them, there's going to be dudes that get their arms hacked off. >> But how do
you weigh out like that? It's not like the psychosis of people who want to just take off. You know what I Like now now there's a real gives people a reason who want to do amp, you know, voluntary healthy arm. >> No, that's what I'm saying. People who are like I was not supposed to be born with this arm. I don't feel right with this left arm to get it taken off. But like >> but you could just not have any regulations and let people do
that. Like if it gets to the point where it's that good, you could just say, yeah, we're you know, my body's fine. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those people, but I'm 42 and I'm starting to feel it. And uh Mike got a whole fake body and [ __ ] Mike is just having so much fun. He's got so much more energy than me and apparently no side effects. >> So you just go in there, take your [ __ ] head off and >>
screw it into some robot body. >> It's weird to be able to take healthy arms off. >> Do you know about that guy? There's this one guy that was uh he got I think it was like a a doctor and he had his legs removed. He he had his legs voluntarily amputated. He tried to pretend for a long time that there was like something wrong with his legs and had to get him amputated, but it turned out it was just a weird sexual fetish. >> So,
uh, >> and so I think he got his license taken away. But this guy was a practicing doctor, I believe. Doctor jailed after getting his own legs amputated for sexual fetish then making insurance claim. He made an insurance claim. >> Well, that's the crazy part. A vascular surgeon in England was sentenced to 32 months in prison for insurance fraud and possession of extreme pornographic images. >> That's interesting. Like the insurance fraud, I get you put him in jail for that, but is extreme pornographic images. Those
are illegal. >> Cuz this chick, he he met a hot young chick that was like, I love getting stump [ __ ] And I just feel like you can't supply that for. Sure you're rich. >> Oh, what's hilarious? His name is His last name is Hopper. That's crazy. >> He had been packing his >> sounds like a children's book about a very brave man. >> Look at this. >> Hopper couldn't hop anymore. He claimed that the the injuries to his limbs were the result of sep
of sepsis, but in reality, Hopper had been packing his legs in ice and dry ice in an act of self mutilation. authorities said the defendant was paying a c uh was a paying customer of a since shuttered website that sold videos of amputations and body modification including penises being removed. So that's what he got arrested for as well as insurance claim. >> Do you remember those videos from back in the day? The uh body modification extreme >> BME. Yeah. >> Yeah. Dude, that was a cra
half but some of it was real. >> Yeah. No, a lot of it was real. >> Yeah. guys who like just like [ __ ] slice their dicks open with razor blades like crazy. >> Do you know Devin Lorat, the world champion arm wrestler? Do you know who that guy is? >> Yes. >> Yeah. His brother was the guy who ran uh Body Modification Extreme. Shannon Shannon Lorat. I was friends with him. >> Really? >> He ran that website. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What an awful
him to take submissions for every day. >> Yeah. >> Is this good enough? >> Just the amount of [ __ ] you're saying. >> You're going to look at >> Yeah. I filleted my [ __ ] >> Maybe put in the baby pile. >> Yeah. packing his legs with dry ice to kill them and then claim he's got sepsis so he needs his legs removed. Like that's wild. >> The fact that people can sexualize everything is great. That remember how ridiculous the movie was Crash where
it was like they have to be in car accidents while they [ __ ] >> Mhm. >> Like it's how dumb but people are in the That's not It's the strangest thing in the world now. >> It's stupid but it's like Yeah, I could see there might be one case of that. I don't know if I have sex sexualization in anything other than sexual stuff. >> Good for you. >> I don't have like foot I never get the foot thing. Never got foot fetishes. >> Come
on. A nice foot. >> No. No. You're a weirdo for sure. >> Nice feet are pretty. >> Yeah. >> Nice feet. Small size six on a woman. They turn you on. They like really get your dick hard. That's a slippery. >> No. Putting it in my mouth. Like putting a toe in my mouth turns me on. Not like looking at looking at feet. That's weird. But if a girl puts her foot in my mouth a little musty after the gym. Oh. >> Uh, yeah. I don't
know. >> Every time I was gonna be like, "Well, I do." Nope. >> I'll be with that. >> This little piggy stinks. >> No. >> Yeah. This little piggy came right from work. Huh. My Instagram algorithm is a mess. And I had this one that popped up the other day. It's an insert that women put in the bottom of their shoes. So, the bottom of their shoes, like between their foot and the shoe, is like the bottom, like the the insole is like a flesh. And
she was sticking bananas, like lubing up her feet and sticking bananas in between her foot and the the spongy part, you know, like saying like, "Look, you could [ __ ] the bottom of my foot." And I just shot my phone off. I not doing anymore. I'm not >> send that video, Joe, when you get a chance. I just want to see if they'll hold their feet together to create the hole, right? So they put their feet together and then you could [ __ ] the
like the soles of their feet like the arch >> to create like Yeah, I've heard. So, I've heard. I mean, feet is probably better than like wanting to [ __ ] furniture or something like that if you're going to have a proclivity to something really bad. But, I mean, like, imagine, >> how about you guys stop being so [ __ ] judgmental, you know? >> I'm just saying is pretty much one and the same. >> No, they're not, dude. >> No, I just the Listen, if
said, I'm not like a party stopper. So, if a girl had nice feet and was like, I want you to suck my toes, I would. Mhm. >> But I would never I would never grab her ankle and stuff her [ __ ] bunion foot in my face. >> She got hammer toe. >> Yeah. I like a working girl. >> Knock two. >> It is weird the the things that people can sexualize. >> That's what I mean. Like >> it's all I think everyone's on a spectrum
of whatever like their freak is like whatever the the freakiest thing you like is on a spectrum unquestionably. >> Well, that's one of the weirder things about this whole trans movement. And there's nothing against trans people, but there was a real thing that existed before people just identify with the opposite sex and just feel like you're born in the wrong body. Like I don't know what that feels like. I don't, you know, I'm not judgmental. But what I am curious about is what ever happened to
autogyophilia? So autogophilia is a real psychological condition where men get turned on dressing up as women, but they're not into men. They're into they don't identify as a woman. they're a man who gets turned on by dressing up as women. It's it's been in the like psychological literature forever. And that these guys want to have sex with women, but they want to dress up like a woman. Like now >> like the professors who wear like panties under their [ __ ] >> like Herby Hoover crossdresser
or something like that. Allegedly. >> The website he was on was not just a weird not >> Oh, the surgeon that got his legs removed. >> Yeah, man. >> Oh, boy. What was it? UNICMAKER.COM pay-per-view fetish website featuring videos of men and boys either maming themselves or allowing others to mutilate them on camera. >> That'll get you put in jail. >> It's got to be dark. That'll get you put in jail. >> There's no there's no hiding that if if you somebody checks your search history
and you've unic. >> Oh my god. Michael says his castration earned him $60 or60 which didn't even cover the cost of his travel. Oh man, I cut my dick off and all I got was 60 pounds. That's a good shirt. >> My castration >> I cut my [ __ ] off and all I got was 60 pounds. >> Oh my god. >> And the shirt, >> dude. I get >> people are Did the people get into the most [ __ ] up things? >> Is that
just like a like a level of chemical imbalance that's in you or is that that traumatized into you? >> That's a good question. Like if someone's just like I can't even get hard unless someone unless there's a clown in the room >> or unless some What's the matter? >> Well, so here I was trying to find what he got cuz he got arrested for three counts of having extreme pornography and I was hoping some article would say what it was and here we go. >> Here
we go, >> Steve. Okay. The first video cost Hopper 10 10. It shows Gusto Gustofson castrating another man. The second costing 35 pounds features a man tied to a bed while Gustiffson rolls dice to decide which body parts to remove. The man ended up losing his penis and testicles and bled so much that Gustiffson called an ambulance all with the camera still rolling. In a third video, also costing Hopper 35 lbs, a man cut off his own penis and holds it up to the camera. [
__ ] >> This is this is bizarly affordable. The prices these things are these are way low prices. >> It's not one. It's like the only like Only Fans or girls sell their tits for 20 bucks, but it's like a thousand dudes are buying the guy. Okay, but that's just showing your tits. This is filleting your [ __ ] Open your [ __ ] like a hot dog. >> I want to watch Steve fillet his own [ __ ] that day, dude. Holy [ __ ]
>> Next year's uh end of the summer games. >> What about like if you had like say I had a Prince Albert, would you think about me differently? Would you be like, "Oh this >> that's like a rod through your head." >> The rod through the head. I'd say you got problems. >> I say generally generally metal. There's a thing. >> I mean, I'm not judging. >> Yeah. Guys get implants in their dicks. Their dicks are like bumped. Like, you know, they're like ribbed for her
pleasure. Like they make their dick >> Oh, yeah. >> ribbed for her pleasure. That's called a rabbit hole. So, uh, Instagram, they can't show dick enhancement operations, but they do link to their YouTube. And so somehow in my [ __ ] popup I see this guy who's looking he's he's got this piece of something in his hand that looks remarkably similar to Reneesi's [ __ ] fish fillet and he's like moving this thing around and saying this is going to add 3 in and 2 in
of diameter and he's like explaining all the different things this is going to do and then you realize like oh that's going in a dick. He can't show it to you but then he talks to the guys afterwards. He says, "Tell me about the experience." Like, "Oh, I'm so happy. It's It looks amazing. I look at it in the mirror. It looks amazing." And then it's like, "Check out more on my YouTube channel." Like, h, you got me. So, on the YouTube channel, you you see
the dicks. You because you're it's a medical dick enlargement. You can look at a lot of dicks on YouTube as long as it's in a medical context. So you're seeing these guys puffed up hogs where they're they're taking this like thing and they're un cutting on where the ball meets the dick and they're shoving this sheath in this plastic sheath that stretches it out and plumps it up. >> Jay considered getting lipos suction on his FAA to make his dick bigger. That's a real story. >>
Well, so it's not going to make it bigger. It'll show bigger. >> It'll show bigger. A nice house with bigger. Yeah. Yeah. You have to judge it up. Uh >> it's a real thing. >> What took what took me out of it? I went for the uh you know what do you call it consultation >> and when and I don't know why I didn't see this coming for so like I was like well of course he's got to see the situation that he wants to >>
get in there and fix. Yeah. >> So he just comes in and sits in a a stool where he is eye level with my dick. >> He goes, "Pull your pants down." And I was like, "Ah, shit." So, I pull him down to my knees and he goes, "Now, come over here in the mirror." And I'm like, "Oh, I don't want to do this part either. >> Now, kiss me." >> He goes, "Um," he goes, "Okay, this is how your penis looks when you're standing naturally
now." >> And then he gives me a a [ __ ] a diamond cutter around my dick and balls. And he pushes back and he goes, "And that's what it will look like after the surgery." And I went, "Okay, can I go?" And I never looked back. I never looked back in the eye. I was like, "Yo, get the [ __ ] god." He [ __ ] diamond cuted your dick and ball pushed it back just >> like that. Just had my wiener poking through his
diamond. It was insane. >> Would it have been more uncomfortable if before he did it, you said, "I want you to feel safe." >> Yeah. Yeah. Put your hand on my low back. I want you to be comfortable. >> Yeah. Groom me a little. I'm just throw me in a fire. >> I just want you to relax. >> Hey, you probably love looking at your dick at You probably love looking at your dick in the mirror standing up. >> Oh boy. I'll never think about that
again somewhere. >> That's what I'm going to think about. >> Dang. >> Maybe he was Illuminati. >> Dude, it's >> It is kind of crazy that with all of our technology, there's no dick enhancement medication yet. >> If there was, it would be out there. I mean, like, it would be the biggest thing. It would be the hair transplants in Turkey. It would be your old dude. Remember your pet? Like, guys would just be chugging them [ __ ] 30 minutes before the first guy dies
of an overdose. They they would go found out find out how much gives me a stroke and take one less than that. Like >> that's that would be the problem. But I mean it's kind of amazing that no one has come up with anything. Like it's just like a problem they can't solve. Like cosmetic surgery in women has solved so many problems. >> Well, when they say that they, you know, they they probably can cure cancer, but they don't because the treatment's in the, you know,
the money's in the treatment. Speaking of cancer, everyone would get uh dick biging surgery. Of course, for sure. Except there's a few dudes out there. Uh, Viagra may reduce cancer metastasis. Wow. Viagra is originally developed to treat high blood pressure and chest pain caused by reduced blood flow to the heart, but over the past three decades become the world's best known therapy for erectile defunction. Uh, defunction dysfunction. So, what is it saying now? Um, okay. Safanol limits cancer cells ability to make use of cholesterol. Wow.
An essential component of cellular membranes. Cholesterol is particularly important for cancer cells seeking to break away from the primary tumor and migrate throughout the body and invade distant organs. Wow. Viagra can keep cancer from spreading. >> Interesting. >> Thank God. That's why I take it then. >> Yeah. >> Yep. >> Interesting. >> Promise I can't get my dick hard unless I have cancer. >> Oh boy. >> It's like that guy with the the legs. >> Yeah. >> To give yourself cancer just to get hard. >>
Crazy [ __ ] I just want to I want to jerk off with an oxygen tube in my nose. >> I just want to be barely breathing. I >> just know I can still nut. >> But once you get into like desensitization too, like there's videos of pretty attractive women blowing in [ __ ] horses. >> Yeah. >> Like they've been talked into this somehow and they're not going >> like when they grab it like they're like Yeah. It's like all right, we rolling. All right,
let me suck this horse's dick real quick. >> Boy, >> and they're big. >> And I'll tell you what, it's always a surprise come shot. >> It's surprising. >> It just blows their mouth hard. It shoots all out of the sides and then they're like, >> there's a job where like you have to collect the semen from horses. Essentially, you have like a giant pocket [ __ ] for a horse and they have to [ __ ] jerk the horse off into this giant tube to
collect >> horse [ __ ] the thing while you hold it. That's like what I did with the one time on Legion of Skanks. Jay held a flashlight and he jerk and he jerked me off of it. >> Yeah, he jerked me off with the flashlight. You're gay. Congratulations. >> I think I missed that week. >> Episode gay. >> No, there was nothing gay about it. Nobody touched each other. >> But Lewis did [ __ ] the flesh. I >> No, he jerked me off with
it. It's not >> seems gay. Who was holding the flashlight? >> He was on the flesh and jerking me off with it. >> You moved or his dick isn't big enough to just hold it in the air? You basically [ __ ] him. >> This is a great question that we've come up in the past. Is it gay if you open your mouth and a guy puts his dick in your mouth, but it doesn't touch any of the edges? >> It's just occupying the space inside
your mouth, but you're you're not blowing them. Like the game day, the guy's definitely a bottom cuz his dick's so small. It doesn't bang the edges at all. >> Very, you know what kind of accuracy you would have to have? You know how you play that game, Operation? >> That's That's what it's like. It's like the most advanced game of Operation. >> And if it touches a tooth or a tongue, the guy gags. >> Yeah. Your nose lights up, red, you just get maybe like a
maybe like a live Tyler, like a Steven Tyler's family. Like maybe those people could probably >> be honest with you. My dick could easily fit into your mouth space. >> No, come on. Shut up. Ah, you think? Come on. Look at that. >> Is this going to get Is this going to get us demonetized? >> No, cuz these things are You've been I've been wrong about things before. I was always like, "My dick probably can fit right through a [ __ ] toilet paper roll, but
it can't." >> Or uh the head of a um a Gatorade bottle. You got a piss in a car and I'm like, "Oh, my dick could easily fit in a Gatorade bottle." No, it's crazy. >> You got to shove it in. You know how many times Shafir >> You make it fit. Shove it in. >> Ari Shafir sitting in that very chair where you are has pissed into [ __ ] kombucha bottles. How many How many times Jamie? >> I mean, which which episode like multiple
times per >> multiple times. He just won't use the bathroom. He He just piss in a bottle. He went >> Did he tell you? >> No. He just pulls his dick out, starts peeing in a bottle. And then one time he went out in the hall and he pissed and I had to go Ari. Jesus Christ. Just the bathroom is five steps later. Just keep stepping and then you're in the bathroom. Stop. >> We were going down a really bad rabbit hole with Ari cuz Ari
like remember Skank Fest like every year >> [ __ ] into a Tupperware dog on at Skankfest on stage during Kill Tony. He came out and he in front of the entire owners got naked put cardboard on the floor and just [ __ ] on the card. I walked in the room and Ari was playing with his [ __ ] Like everyone's like, "What the [ __ ] is going on?" I was like, "Well, I got to go. I can't watch that." >> Allen type [
__ ] >> Yeah, that's what the guy who [ __ ] wanted to kill Buork did. >> He played with his [ __ ] >> He covered himself in [ __ ] and shot himself. >> If Ari killed Buork, I wouldn't be stunned. >> I bet they crossed paths with his travels. >> I bet. You ever seen that one time where Bork [ __ ] some guy up at the airport >> like physically? >> Yeah. Some journalist was It was a guy or maybe it was
a woman. some but some journalist was harassing her at the airport like following around camera in her face and she just eventually turns and just starts wailing on this person. I thought it was a dude but now that I'm thinking about it might be a lady. I think it's a lady >> can't remember but I do remember [ __ ] this lady up. >> She's like yeah she's like trying to ignore her completely and then just add a note 0 to 60. >> So this person
is like just shoving >> Yeah, it's a woman. >> Oh yeah, it's a woman. Oh [ __ ] feral dude. >> That's funny with the microphone too. She's fighting back. Dan Sod show Dan Soder showed me years ago a funny thing of Buork on YouTube. It's just Bork explains the insides of a computer and it's really her and she's just like it looks like a little city and the people go up in the elevator maybe and the and the wires are like the people maybe. It's
like she or she explains an open TV. It's what TV explains an open TV. >> It looks like this would be the little elevator. It's so [ __ ] funny. >> A rude thing to just run up to someone and stick a camera in their face like that. >> Yeah. I don't believe like all those like uh first amendment guys, they'll just stand outside of like a like a store and they'll videotape you and you're like, what are you taping for? It's like, what's your problem,
dude? Free speech. It's America. You could do this. You're like, I'm looking for trouble. >> [ __ ] kill you. Get the camera out of my face. And then it's like a whole it's a whole genre on on X and on >> Well, there's just too many people looking for content. I was going to say if you go like this, if the response of what someone says to you is, "What?" >> You're already an [ __ ] >> Yeah. Second incident. >> The second Buork attack.
Oh, she's wild. >> She attacked a paparazzi photographer after arriving in New Zealand for a concert. >> This is in what year was this? >> I don't 18 years ago. So, it doesn't have a year on. >> She goes, she's like a girl Axel Rose. >> Well, that thing says 2008. Okay. So, she took a couple of pictures. As I turned to walk away, she came up behind me, grabbed the back of my black skiibby, and tore it. Uh, as she did this, she fell over.
She fell to the ground. At no point, at no stage, did I touch her or speak with her. Bork said nothing during the incident, but her male companion was saying, "Be don't do this. Be don't do this. She's just wild." >> Yeah. Untethered. >> Yeah. >> Unfathered. >> Yeah. Oh, yeah. She dressed like a duck. >> Yeah. Yeah. You grow up with an umlout in your name, it's going to create mental problems. >> She's from Icelandic described television. >> Those are wild people. That's a wild
place. >> Yeah, that's a wild place. >> I've always wanted to go to Reikovich. >> That is a cold ass wild place filled with giant human beings. Like some of the biggest strong men in the world all come from Iceland. >> Prometheus. That guy from >> Oh yeah. Yeah. Bujorn Game of Thrones. Yeah. Um a bunch of the strong men. It's like it's like a freakish culture of humans up there. >> Is it just genetics or is it what they do for >> Vikings? Yeah. >>
Oh, it's like the Magnus for Magnus. >> Those are the real Vikings. The leftover Vikings. And when you see those guys winning those strongman competitions, you got to imagine a [ __ ] boatload of them. >> A boatload of them pulling up on your shore with battle axes and [ __ ] running out. They're on mushrooms. >> I'm on a marsh. >> Yeah. They would get they would be tripping on mushrooms when they would go berserking. >> That's wild. >> Oh, bro. And that's like they're
still there. It's like those genetics are still in those [ __ ] mountains. >> Did you go there just to travel there? >> No. No. I just know about it. I just know a lot about Iceland specifically because of uh the uh strongman culture. It's very weird. It's weird that how many of the strongest men in the world all came out of Iceland. And you see the size of them, you're like, "Oh, okay. I get it." Like these are not regular humans. Yeah. >> Like if
if you were like a pygmy tribe and you got in a boat and you landed in Iceland and you got out like back in the day and you little 4ft tall people and then all of a sudden you saw >> I was like that's a totally different species. >> It's like the scene in the Odyssey where the giants are [ __ ] running through the woods just hacking them up. Spoiler alert. >> I know. I haven't seen it. So good. >> [ __ ] I loved
it. >> There's giants. >> I haven't seen it yet either. I heard it was great though. >> Trojan what? Even the people that were mad at it for being, you know, woke casting or whatever, they still said it was. >> It did take me out of it. I will say, uh, what's her name? Um, his name Elliot Page. Yeah, they they booked him be like a like a a soldier and you're like, every time he talks on screen, you're like, that used to be a woman.
I'm not like it just kind of took me out of it. But >> the only thing less scary than a female cop, trans cop, >> uh, I've had nothing but pleasant interactions with trans men, >> women to men. Yeah, >> I had I had an interaction the other day, Joe, with a trans a woman to man transman who we told this on Legion. >> Dude, this story is fantastic. >> So, I'll give the quick version of it. I'm pulling out of a parking space. There's a
city bike guy coming by and I almost hit him. He falls off his bike and he's like, "Yo, what the fuck?" And >> this is an urban deer. >> I'm a terrible I'm a terrible driver. I've talked about this a lot. So, I'm like, "All right, are you okay?" He's like, "Yeah, dude. I'm fine, but watch where you're going." I'm like, "All right, cool." So, this woman starts screaming from the street and she's like, "Stay right there." there to me. She's like, "Stay right there." And
the guy's like, "No, no, no. I'm okay. Don't worry, miss." I get out of the car. I'm like, "What's going on?" And then uh she's like, "You can't go. You hit a pedestrian." I was like, "I didn't hit him. He's fine." He's like, "I got to go." He takes off on his bike. So, she starts screaming at me. And at this point, I'm going like, "I'll stay for this. This is going to be like a fun argument. Why not?" So, I start yelling back and I'm
like, "Fuck you, you dumb [ __ ] Mind your business. You Karen." She calls the cops, right? So, she's on the phones with the cops being like, "He's he's threatening me." And now I'm like I'm like, "Now I want the cops to come." Now, this like a whole thing. The whole block is watching. There's like 20 people on the block watching. >> It's crazy how not Puerto Rican you see yourself. >> I know. >> Let's get the cops here. Let's get the cops here. They'll probably
They'll probably look at me and think that I'm going to be the one who's reasonable. >> So then uh there's >> a mirror. >> A mirror. >> You [ __ ] get mustache. I'll wait for the [ __ ] >> So then uh a what I believe is a female to male trans. I'll show you I'll show you. I think I have my phone. I'll show you the picture. It looks like Conor McGregor, but he's got a woman's voice. Starts screaming out the window. And he's
like, he's like, "Why are you talking to a woman that way? I'll come down there and kick your ass." And now I'm like, "Come down here and kick my ass, motherfucker." I'm yelling at her. I'm yelling at him. >> So the trans man was saying that they were going to kick your ass. >> Kick my ass. So then I'm like, I want you to come down. I've been waiting for this moment. I've been training for this day my entire life. >> So then uh he goes
out. He's like, "Oh yeah." And he comes back with a gun like this and goes, "Yeah, you want this smoke?" And I'm like, "Oh [ __ ] >> this East Village, New York City." So then I'm like, and but when somebody pulls a gun in New York City or flashes a gun, I'm assuming it's a a BB gun, a replica. Guns in New York are not easy to come by, especially like a little white trans. Like I'm just like, >> I like to say you've been
waiting your whole life to uh [ __ ] let a woman finally become a man so you could punch them. >> He's like, "Well, I wish there was still." He goes, "Oh, can you please let me do your wife?" Yo, go get some [ __ ] trans surgery. I'm going to punch you in the face. >> So, the cops come, right? They tell the woman. They're like, "What do you There's no crime here. The guy left." It was like, "No, mind your business." She leaves. Then
I go to the cops. I was like, "Well, you should know this little uh man up here. Pulled out a gun." >> Now, who's the Karen? >> Yeah. So, then now now there's they shut down the block. Fire trucks on both ends, ambulance, 20 cops on the block. >> They're waiting to storm this dude's apartment. And I'm sitting there like, "This is the greatest moment of my life." >> How progressive you're being through this entire call. I'm calling him a dude the whole time. We also
don't know for sure. >> I don't know. It could have been It could have been a gay guy with an affeminite voice. I'll show you the picture in a second or the video. So, uh, so then the cops finally come and after like 45 minutes, they go into the building like they're waiting for whatever. And I'm sitting there. I'm I'm I'm listening. I'm at the bottom of the stairs listening and and the trans dude is yelling at the cops and they're yelling him and I'm like,
"Oh, they're going to [ __ ] shoot him. This is the greatest day of my life. They're going to light him up." I'm waiting for a gunfight to happen, right? The cops come down 2 minutes later >> boiling to this. >> And I was like I was like, "Where where is he?" And they're like, "It wasn't a gun." I was like, "What was it?" They were like, "It was a black dildo." He had a black dildo with a gun handle that he flashed at me through
the window. >> Which, by the way, a black dildo is more scary to a Puerto Rican guy than a gun. True. Oh my god. A black dildo with a gun handle. >> Dude, they shut down the whole city block for a black dildo with a gun handle. >> That's a great episode of like CSI. Could you imagine the cops going into the apartment, guns drawn, and he's like, "Hold on. >> Get the [ __ ] off me. A dildo." And you see the cops like lower
their guns like what the [ __ ] I would like to have a dildo gun though. >> I know. >> Like a gun. Like a dildo with a gun handle on it. >> And when you pull the trigger, the head swells. >> Yeah. >> I mean, it would be a fun thing to have. >> You probably wouldn't use it much. >> And maybe a lighter on the end of it. >> Yep. That would be >> Then you would use it a lot more. >> That's true.
>> Both fun and practical. >> Oh my god. A little flame comes out of a cockhead on the end of my gun. A little flag pops out of it. Says bang like a cigar lighter flame. Like a torch. Relax officers. It's just a [ __ ] lighter gun. >> Easy does it. >> Holster your guns. Just a regular old [ __ ] holster gun. >> Someone said you can't uh get in New York now just like the rubber fake black guns anymore. They won't they won't
deliver them to New York at all. >> No. >> So why why are you so insistent on being involved in conflict? >> No, I'm not. Conflict finds me. >> That seems like you >> I had conflict at Jay's hotel before I came here. It just regularly finds me for some reason and I it's like a Larry David thing like I can't let it go but I'm not like a nebishy old Jewish guy so I [ __ ] react like a Puerto Rican. >> You're a psychotic
Puerto Rican. >> Yeah. >> So I a little a little slight like I I kind of like well you know that's and then it just turns it starts to snowball into like the bigger thing. >> Well I understand how it could happen. >> Yeah. It's like when you drink and drive and crash your car and you're talking to the guy. Well it just started with one drink that like I get it. I know it happens. Just >> don't do that. Yeah, >> but I I definitely
what we share is in that thing like I'm the person I have I'm learning to try to get better, especially as I get older. But like >> I'm the idiot like cuts me off in traffic and gives the finger. I'm like I'm hunting this guy with my heart too. >> And my hope is that I get on his ass enough that he ends up cartwheeling down the [ __ ] and then people are like, "Are you out of your [ __ ] mind?" Like like [
__ ] that guy. He's in like a shitty car thing. Like who cares? And I'm like, "No, it's it's justice. We have to bring justice to >> I had that remember um uh Running Can not Running Canyon, Laurel Canyon, how you get to the top of Moholland and and everyone would try to get into the right lane and then cut back over. I literally drove I was like drove a guy where I'm like I'm not we did chicken all the way. I'm like I'm going to
drive him into the [ __ ] dog park. I will let this happen right now rather than let this [ __ ] guy cut me off. I want to drive him into the [ __ ] dog park. >> Road rage is the weirdest thing. I don't know what it is. Like you get home when you get home you're like, "Thank God I didn't get out of a car." are like what a [ __ ] idiotic kill someone. It it comes from your your body's on a
heightened sense of awareness because you're driving a car really fast. So you're aware that you have to make split-second moves. Things are moving and you're going like this. So you're already at seven. That's what it is. So anything that HAPPENS LIKE [ __ ] YOU, YOU ARE you don't go from zero to [ __ ] you, you're already at seven cuz you're in a car. Like you don't realize that your car you're tense, especially in LA, people are driving fast. A lot of people are cutting
people off. You're always thinking. You always have to be alert and looking, pay attention because you're aware of the consequences. So, you're at this heightened state of awareness. So, any little slight that happens is like you're at war. >> That's what it is. >> It feels that way, dude. >> But you got to realize that like in the car and like chill. >> Y >> it's hard to do. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody Yeah. But just don't chase people down your car. >> You have to go
[ __ ] you. Let out the [ __ ] you, but you know, don't chase them. It's a great Louis bit where he's like somebody all they have to do is like slightly go into your lane and you're like [ __ ] you [ __ ] you get so angry so fast for like the slightest little like >> So that's where it comes from. >> What I've been taking to I'm thinking about getting a dry erase board to keep in my car cuz all I really
want to do is I feel like I have the skill to say something that's going to ruin their day if they just see it real quick. It'll just get back whatever you need to get back. >> The problem is now I got a knee drive while I write my clever clip. >> Maybe instead of You can get like a LED banner on the front of your windshield and then you can just say it and it'll print it out. >> Damn. They're not going to let you
print out squares. >> They wouldn't be able to stop you. >> He goes, "Someone's got tech money over here." >> Yeah. >> Well, if you think about it, it's not a there's no law that says you can't have that, right? No. >> Can you have an LED thing that shows letters? Why don't I distracting? Maybe not. >> Well, Steve, you have the middle finger thing on your car. >> I have the middle finger in my car. So, it has five. So, it'll either give like a
this like, "Thanks, man. You let me in." It'll give like a like something like a thumbs up and then it'll give the [ __ ] bird hit the thing. >> Here, using an LED banner or scrolling message sign on a car is generally illegal while driving on public roads. All right. But, you know what? You can get you can get a um one of those loudspeakers cuz I saw one of those uh survival trucks. It's like a bulletproof survival truck and it has an alarm like
like like a siren like a cop siren and it also has like a a loudspeaker. Attention attention. >> Oh my god. >> Leave the road. >> That would be great. I hope your mother gets AIDS. Carry on. >> You could 100% get that installed on your car. That would actually be hilarious. >> Oh, that's a goodie. >> But then you could make viral videos of you >> cursing people out. >> Yes. >> I love it, >> bro. That's actually a good idea. And I think let's
find out if that's legal. Where do you live? Where do you live in Jersey? See if that's legal in Jersey. >> You got a birthday coming up, big guy. >> I hate those air holes. >> We'll hook you up. I'll find a guy. I'll find a guy. What kind of car are you driving these days? >> Ram truck. >> Oh, perfect. Plenty of room back there. Plenty of room. They can get that. Oh, 100%. They probably make it already. They probably make one for it. Like
imagine cows out of the road. >> You're imagining a much manlier Ram truck. Jay's all souped out with like like lights and [ __ ] on the bottom and strobes. >> All Ram trucks are pretty [ __ ] manly. >> Yeah, dude. >> I love Ram. I've had >> There's a Ram on the back, you ask. two different TRXs. You ever have a T? You ever drive a TRX? It's the most ridiculous car you could drive. >> Like [ __ ] fast, right? >> It's like
a 700 horsepower truck that you get right from the factory. Okay. Sound and boom car laws. Plainly audible rule under New Jersey law. Operating a vehicle, sound system, or loudspeaker that is plainly audible at 50 ft or more is illegal. >> To be fair, it's more illegal to chase somebody and run them off the road. >> But here's the cop thing about that. Uh using exterior mounted speakers, PAS or loud system or loud uh playing sound from open doors, boom parties that exceeds the distance threshold
can result in roadside citations. Emergency sirens mimicking official emergency vehicle sirens or horns with a car speaker system is strictly prohibited. The thing is like you can still buy those trucks. >> This is doable. >> This is doable. This is all doable. >> It's like they have to prove that you have that in there. >> But also 50 ft is like I don't need that much space. I'm going to get next to him so make sure he hears it, >> right? Yeah, >> 50 ft is
not that far on the road. >> I'm going to go look at my face while I put my but >> I hope you [ __ ] cartwheel home at some point and your car flips over and you don't have airbags and you're piece of [ __ ] >> This is weird because horns are plainly audible. There's no law that you can't just lay on your horn. >> Do you ever hear those air horns? You can't holding on your horn for an extended amount of time. You
can get a ticket for >> I've done that in New York traffic when I've been the one that's like agitated and late. I've Do you know if you hang lay on your horn enough >> it turns off. just stops and then it won't work again for a while. >> You got old You got to get an old car. >> Get a car before the government got involved. >> Yeah. >> 1983 Ram. Honking a car horn in New York City is illegal unless used as a warning
of imminent danger. Well, someone needs to put all those cab drivers in a jail. >> Yeah. >> And violator fines ranging from $800 to $2,500. Wow. That's crazy. >> It's really illegal to give a little zap when like someone's not going in front of you cuz you see they're on their phone. >> Give a tap. That's crazy though. Imagine you lay on the horn and you get a 250 $2,500. >> I think a little [ __ ] like it's polite beep. Hey, you're not paying attention.
>> Well, it's important cuz every now and then people don't see you and they need to know. >> Especially there's a whole uh Gerard Butler maybe movie or something or no Russell Crow movie about that. Like his whole anger is the girl behind him >> wouldn't apologize for laying on the horn. He was like I didn't know the light turned green. You could have just given like a simple like huh and then she was like [ __ ] you. And then the movie is just him
chasing her and murdering her family. >> Oh yeah. >> A second and a half sounds so aggressive. Like just like beep. That's cute. You're like, "All right, you got to pay attention." But if you're like >> just that, you're like, "Fuck you, buddy." >> Oh, yeah. That's >> Solstice. Is that what it's called? Unhinged. >> Unhinged. Yeah. >> Oh, it's pretty good. >> I'm sure it's good. Russell Crow is the [ __ ] man. >> He's like, you just give one of these. I do like
just like that. And there's no reason to do this. I had a Tesla and uh the horn wasn't in the center. It was a button. It was a button on the steering wheel and every time something happened, where's the button? It was never good. It was never It was a terrible idea. >> You need to be able to put a little something in. >> Yeah. Even if you're like it could you reach it with your thumb. You could reach it with your thumb. But there's other
[ __ ] there, too. You know, you're [ __ ] in a >> turn the center. You just slam the center. >> You turn your windshield wipers on. You're like, "Fuck, motherfucker." The new ones do it now. It's in the center. But you lock in cruise control button. God sucker. Yeah, it was terrible. I hated it. He did a bunch of [ __ ] that supposedly makes them better that I think is not good. And one of the things they removed the blinker thing. >> There's
no stalk now. It's buttons. >> It's all buttons now. >> So I [ __ ] it up all the time. >> There's no Even the drive. I have an old Model 3. You know, drive and reverse is still on the side. Now the new ones are just half the screen. Yeah. Well, the new one, mine, you swipe you swipe up to go forward and swipe back to go backwards. It's like >> Yeah. It's getting too like >> Yeah. How about a thing like a car? >>
Well, they're video cuz they're video gaming it for young people. >> Well, I think they're removing everything because they're eventually going to get to fully automated cars. Oh, yeah. And the idea is make everything buttons. So, they already have this these cyber cabs that are traveling around all over Austin. You see, nobody in them. >> Yeah. They never drop you off at the right place. Sometimes they don't move. You're sitting in there. You're like support them. You're yelling at them. Yeah. In the >> Whimos. Oh,
no. No. There's different cyber cabs. Like a gold gold. It looks like a small It looks like a small cyber truck. >> It's like weird gold looking car. Um and then there's other ones that seem to be different colors that have cyber cab logos on them. I don't know if it is a cyber cab, but the Whimos, I saw a Whimo doing a pretty aggressive lane entry the other day. I was like, "Huh?" >> Like almost cutting someone off. >> Yeah. I was like that. Yeah.
I just assumed that the person next to him was going to like stop and just went right in front of him. I was like, "Wa, >> learn how to drive." >> Yeah. >> But it was like they're getting a little comfortable. >> Want to bet this is an Asian or a girl. >> I calculated the amount of time it would take me to change lanes and it was adequate. >> The I had a Uber driver last night tell me that she's like I told her I
took a Whimo. She because she's like me don't really do that. You know, it was like >> you should smell my farts and listen to my music. >> Exactly. But I was like, she's like, it's better than Whimo's better than the old company they had. She's like, the old there was another company. I can't remember what she said, but it was like they were going under the assumption that that it would learn the car would learn from other drivers. >> And what it did is it
learned horrible habits. It was like going through red lights. It was going like 50 through a school zone and [ __ ] Like it learned from actual real people how to [ __ ] drive poorly. And they were like, "Oh, we got to shut this thing down." Like I got into Whimo and it's like if you got to get like I have like 20 minutes to get to the airport >> and Whimo says like 24, you can't be like step on it. It's like it's only
going to go as fast as it's going to go. You can't like ask it to go >> Yeah. Well, hurry up. >> But then the other problem sometimes you tell you tell an Uber driver to hurry up. Sometimes they're like they pull over and they're like get out. You're like what? >> This happened to me twice now where I've been like I'm in a big hurry and the guy just literally just pulls over and he goes get out. I'm not taking you. And then you can't
do anything because they have all of your information and you can't like so you're just like >> what did I say like oh really >> you have to be a little smoother with it I guess. Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm kind of in a rush or what? I don't know. >> Hey I don't you know it's not a requirement but it would be nice if we can get there a little quicker. >> Yeah because >> well Uber and Uber Eats I think there's just no over no
answer or anything. That's why they don't couldn't give a [ __ ] I feel like especially in the city areas they don't give a [ __ ] >> Have you done the full self-driving thing yet? >> Oh all the time. Yeah. All the time. I I I brought my car and they gave me a rental for a couple days and I literally was like, "Well, let's try it." Went right to the city. >> I ignored it for a long time. I always like to drive myself.
But then recently, over the last like year or so, coming home from the club at night, you know, having a good time at the club, laughing with the boys. I'm like, I don't want to pay attention. >> I'd rather just make a phone call. So, I call like a buddy of mine back home and we're talking on the phone and I'm literally just sitting down and the car is doing everything, stopping at every red light. have. It's fully automated now. Dude, you don't have to anything
fully. >> This must be a question that's already asked probably a thousand times, but like are you able to like drink >> then? No. >> No. It's got a camera in it. So, >> no, no, no. And if you're drunk, >> I mean, I don't mean drink like in it. I'm saying are you able to drink? >> That's what I was going to say. No. If you're drunk and you get in your Tesla and you say, "Oh, officer, I wasn't even driving. The car is driving."
Uh-uh. >> But you could be drunk in the back seat of a cyber cab. >> Yeah. But I have converted your car to being a cyber cab and you just I think they should have a mode where you're allowed to get in the back seat drunk and have your car drive you home if it's fully automated. >> Dude, they're talking about the the full self-driving thing to giving it to blind people. >> And I'm like I swear to God, think about it. You put a blind
person behind there. There's someone there, but they can't see. What's the difference between being drunk and being a blind person driving a car? Would you rather drive with a drunk person or a blind person? >> Drunk person. But also like you're relying on that blind person to use text to speech or speech to text to talk to the navigation system to tell them where to go. >> And what if it translates it incorrectly because it does with me all the time? >> Yeah. You don't know
where >> all the time. And with Apple with the [ __ ] Apple Maps. It does it when I use Siri. It does it with the Tesla. If I say something and it doesn't understand me, it'll show me a bunch of wrong options. So what does the blind person do? >> I don't know. But they were literally talking about like this is going to be the future for people just pimping >> driving around getting place you press summon. So say if you're at a parking lot
and you say come to me the car will pull out of the lot and drive over to where you are. Like say if you got you're at the supermarket, you got a bunch of bags to put in your trunk, it'll just pull up to where you are. >> It's pouring out. >> You couldn't do it you couldn't do that at like a gated like it has to wait to run the plate thing or something. >> You can't do it at the airport. Like you can't be
like you're on level four and like you get out a baggage claim you're like come get my car will come down. It has to be within like I think a distance >> but that's only a matter of time. I mean within 5 10 years it's going to be there's not going to be any Uber drivers. It's going to be all automated taxis. That's that's happening. >> First got a Tesla was like 2017ish maybe 18. And that one didn't do any of these things. That one did
self-driving but you had to stop for stop signs. You had to stop for stop lightss. But like we were on Laurel Canyon. I was driving with my wife and I just had my hands off the wheel. I was like, "Look at this. This is crazy." And it's just keeping us in the lane, driving everywhere you want to go. And it stays in the lane. It's really It was a little shaky back then. >> I don't even do that still. I have the thing that's like if
I if I'm I turn that off all it's like Yeah. It's like if you get out of the lane, it goes like >> But the new self-driving's got five modes. It could be like you could be snail mode, like slow mode, normal, fast, and then like get me the [ __ ] there or something like that. And Yeah. And I didn't put it on. Have you ever [ __ ] with any of the modes? >> No, I just have it drive. Yeah, because it's like >>
I'm not in a rush. >> I want to see what it like does it like start speeding and going around people and driving. >> It's [ __ ] really good. Like it's really good. Like it it changes lanes if the cars in front of you going slow. >> Yep. >> Are you comfortable to not look at all and just be in your phone? >> No. I look I'm still weirded out by it. >> What are you looking at? The wheel or you looking at the screen
or you looking at the car? Yeah. Outside. >> Well, I usually do it when I want to make a phone call. So, I'll make a phone call and I'll just be talking to a friend and I'll just be looking around. It's like you're having a conversation while you're getting a ride somewhere. It doesn't feel like you're driving. Even though you're kind of s sort of paying attention just in case. Just in case. I keep my hands there, but it I'm fully comfortable with it. >> The
one Whimo in Austin, remember they shut Whimo down for like a couple months in Austin. It was like they were like, "These aren't ready." Cuz there was a shootout in downtown Austin and the Whimo just pulled up right in the middle of it between the cops and the people shooting >> and blocked everything. >> Yeah. And also like too many of them get to an intersection, no one knows what to do. >> Like four Whimos get to a They don't >> Yeah. Well, if it's nothing
but Whimos, like there's 20 Whimos in one intersection, what the [ __ ] happens? The craziest thing that happened with San Francisco. So, Whimos operate on LAR, whereas Teslas operate on cameras. So, the problem with LAR, when the grid goes down, so does a car. >> Oh. >> So, [ __ ] the car stalled out and then Elon was like on Twitter going, I told you so. >> But this is why I don't use it. >> Really >> stupid. >> What's the grid? I don't know.
>> The power Oh, right. >> Power outages. Oh, >> so if there's a power outage that's controlling these cars, >> they just stop. >> I I'm pretty sure they just stop. Maybe they pull over and they stop. I don't know if they stop right in the middle of the internet. >> It's like a hacker's dream, dude. >> Well, there's a lot of hackers dreams out there with all these >> shutting down all once it all becomes we're all reliant on Whimo. >> So, in Korea, a
bunch of people got arrested recently in South Korea because they had hacked into their Teslas and they had enabled full self-driving, which is a subscription thing. Usually you have to pay for it. So these guys figured out a way. I mean probably coders like why would I pay? [ __ ] you. And they went in and jailbroke the whole Tesla system and put in self-driving and they got arrested. >> Damn. I mean >> it's interesting, right? >> It's good that they could do it. >> Yeah,
it's kind of interesting. >> I don't even set up my Roomba. I'm afraid of the all that stuff. It's like I don't use Alexa in my house or any of that [ __ ] where people are like you have Alexa turn the lights on and stuff like [ __ ] Alexa. But it's weird. It's like, am I buying this thing and this thing is capable of doing that? And then you want me to pay money so the thing can do what it already can do. It
seems like you're just taking money from me. >> It seems like that's in the thing. Why don't you just sell the thing that does the thing? Why do I have to pay a subscription to make it do what it can do? >> I don't think it was a subscription. It's the the they're not illegal. They're not legal in Korea. >> Oh, >> full self-driving isn't legal there. Oh, only US-built models sold in South Korea like Model S, X, and Cybertruck that have full self-driving that that's
legally passed Korea safety regulations, the outlet said. And since Korea also gets Chinese-built Model Y's and 3es, most Tesla drivers in the country can't access the feature through traditional means. That's interesting. >> But still, same point though. They they bought the car, they should be able to do what they want with it, right? >> Right. you should be. Well, I guess they're violating the law where you can't have a car drive itself. That's a different law they're violating than just breaking the subscription model. But if
you did that in America, I wonder I just I'm not a fan of subscriptions. There's like there's there's certain car manufacturers that make you charge charge you a subscriptions that you could use Apple CarPlay. >> Yeah, I have to pay for an Audi subscription to >> crazy >> to use the internet and the Audi and other things as a monthly fee. It's a [ __ ] USBC cable. You plug it into your car and it just immediately starts working. You want me to pay for that
every month? That's crazy because you can get an aftermarket one like I have muscle cars that have Apple CarPlay. Like a 684 that has Apple CarPlay. Like how come I have to pay every month to use this? You're just stealing money. >> Oh yeah. >> Sucking money out of my car. >> It's almost like isn't OnStar a thing like that? You have to like pay to have OnStar, but like shouldn't there just be like an emergency button in your car? >> Yeah. Well, OnStar, I think
the idea is you're paying because there's a bunch of people that are there that are working. So, you're paying for a service. >> It's like not just the car. It's like you're paying for infrastructure. >> Yeah. Yeah. But but the technology in the Tesla is already built in. It's whether or not you're just turning on or off, you know? Exactly. Tesla suck though. Like if you have like a busted tire though, you can't go to like, you know, some guy named Gus. >> No. Tires are
the same tires. Same tires. >> Come out and like take it to go through tires faster than But I've had my Tesla's got 106,000 miles. I've never put brakes on it. I never No oil changes, no nothing. >> The beautiful thing about them is the the when you let off the gas, it >> regenative brakes. So that's how it stops. >> You I barely touch the brake on my Tesla. I know now like how much distance I need when I see a red light ahead. I
just let off the gas and just >> slows down to a stop. >> Slows down and it's regenerating the battery while it's doing that a little bit. >> Yeah. >> You know, they the battery life depending upon how you drive. I mean, it's not the best. >> Have you driven into a BYD? I was in France and they were all over the place. They had no Teslas, but they're the Chinese. Uh, >> those are incredible. >> Insane. >> They're incredible. >> Insane. Like more comfortable than
the like >> They have crazy ones now. They They have a new supercar over there that's It's like faster than anything you can buy in America. They're doing nutty [ __ ] >> Why can't you buy BYD's here? Is it China? You can't. >> Good question. Yeah, >> it's a good question. >> I'm an analog guy. >> I like my car as two pedals. >> I know. My wife hates all this [ __ ] She She won't even drive my car. She won't even and I've
had it for eight years. They work great. She hates it. The thing is they work great. They're super [ __ ] reliable and they're really fast. They they like I have the Model S Plaid and when I'm at a red light, it just goes like if I want light turns green goes >> you're just gone. No sound, no noise. 0 to 60 in 1.6 seconds. You're just gone. >> And meanwhile, it [ __ ] handles. It's awesome. It's incredible. >> But it's also it's just quiet.
The charging thing is what gets me. I was going to rent one one time and then I was they were about to hand me the keys and I was like, "Wait a minute. I don't have to find a charger for this." >> One is a problem. But the thing is, if it's at your house, you just pull into your house and you just plug it in at night. It's [ __ ] easy. >> Mine goes to 7:00 a.m. It say like you just It's like a
clock set. >> And you drive to the city and back home. >> I have two I mean the mileage is I when I first got mine it was 310 was the the maximum. Now every year it goes down like 10 miles an hour. So now I'm like 250. >> It's like your battery in your phone. After a year or two it gets worn out, >> becomes less. >> Same kind of thing. But you could get the batteries replaced. >> Yeah. >> I'm sure they have like
portable like an extra battery that like is uh Have you seen the ones now? You can like buy a solar panel thing that you can bring on a road trip, right? So you go to go hike in a mountain for a little bit. You want to charge your car. You roll it out onto the roof of your car and you just plug it into the charger and the sun will charge your car while you're >> probably a little >> a little bit. It's not like a
supercharger, but you can get a couple miles back, you know, probably 10 miles an hour or something like that. >> No, I'm just >> Well, so what are you hiking in mountains? >> But I'm saying, you know, Tesla. Yeah, >> that's true. >> That's what the commercial did. They were like in the mountain. They're like, I'm going on a hike or something. >> It's like the herpes commercials where people are kayaking like >> they looked great and fit. That's not >> I know the Cyber Truck's
very polarizing, but that [ __ ] thing's incredible. >> Yeah, >> it's incredible. >> Yeah. You know what's not incredible for? I saw a person hauling furniture in the back of it and got on the highway and all of that furniture proceeded to fly off. >> Well, that person's an idiot. They didn't tie their furniture down. That could have happened in a [ __ ] Tacoma. >> Oh, yeah. Absolutely. It was so dumb, >> dude. In Los Angeles, we went to the Tesla diner. We're like,
"Oh, this is kind of cool. Tesla diner." First of all, the menu stinks. But then the cool part, they had like 10, it's a diner. There's like 10 items on the menu. It's [ __ ] insane. So, the cool part is they have two gigantic movie screens. Like, she could like pull up and they have different movies playing. Um, and you can just pull in and watch a movie in your car while you eat. But they only allow you to watch a movie in your car
if you have a Tesla. So, it's like the coolest part of the entire experience. You have to have a Tesla for >> Interesting. Yeah. >> Well, that makes sense, though. I mean, why would you why would they allow their competitors to pull into the Tesla diner? >> They let me buy a goddamn cheeseburger. >> Cheeseburger? Yeah. Well, I didn't have a I walked right in. >> How was the cheeseburger? >> Terrible. >> Really? >> It wasn't good. It was not a good diner. >> The guy's
not building cheeseburgers, you It's like let him do what he wants to do. >> You need a cheeseburger to land itself. >> But it seems like if you can make a rocket get caught by a robot arm >> Yeah. you should be able to figure out a good cheeseburger [ __ ] cheeseburger. This is >> self eating cheeseburger. >> This is not rocket science. Literally. >> True. >> It's a [ __ ] cheeseburger. You ever see the kids working at In-N-Out? >> Yeah. They're normal people.
>> It's the one thing Mus can't figure out. >> The burger. It's always eluded me. >> It's too complicated. It's impossible. Can't be done. >> I mean, there's a lot of people that can make a good burger, farm it out to them. But I I would imagine if you're going to be Tesla, you should put your name on a solid [ __ ] burger. >> Solid burger. >> Space is a little upy about food, though. >> I'm a snob. I have the best burger in the
world. San Sebastian. Bardi. >> What is that? Where's it? >> A place in San Sebastian, Spain called Bardi. And the >> Spain. You're a traveler. >> I love I go I I travel all the time. So I spend my money on. And I brought my son on a father-son trip there. >> Low age of consent. Don't we ate uh we went to this we went to San Sebastian where it's like a huge eating culture. All of these like uh more Michelin star restaurants per square meter
than anywhere else in the world >> really. >> And uh this one spot called Bar Desi. They Yeah. They specialize just it's literally meat like melted like almost like a cream cheese and a bun. >> It's Dude, it's like raw. It's barely cooked. I took the last bite of this burger and I got emotional. Like I had taken like ecstasy. I was like, it was the best thing I've ever eaten in my entire life. >> You gotta take ecstasy again. >> What's the place called again?
>> Bardi. >> Bardi. >> Yeah. Best Sebastian. >> There's something about when you're going for like a thing you wouldn't eat all the time, like not a very like hoham like thing like a burger or something. I watch a guy uh on Instagram that says stuff. He was he was getting like, you know, the fifth best burger in the world in some place overseas that he flew for and he goes when he ate it, he was like, "It's really good. It's a great burger, but I
think with burgers, you're just going to find you can only do if you use good ingredients, you can just only do so much that's going to make it taste like it's going to be, you know what I mean? A great burger in America is not much less good than that great burger right now for nothing like that burger. Not even close. And I'm I love a good burger. That burger was [ __ ] crazy. I'm going to go back in the next couple years just for
the burger. >> Is it the meat they're using? >> It's the meat. So that's the whole thing is like they're like they spent two years developing like their meat blend fat to meat and like what what they use and uh yeah >> the secret ingredient elk. >> Oh, okay. So >> be right back after these words. >> It's from the older cows. That's one of the things they do in Spain. Um they they like to cook older cows like they you can get that at Bizaarre
Meat. Jose Andre, you know, he's Spanish. He's amazing. And his uh place they they'll sell those. They sell these older cows and it does taste different. It's really good. It's very very beefy. >> Do you have to age the meat then too or is the >> Yeah, they age them as well, but they it's also an old cow. Instead of like if you buy like a ribeye steak from a supermarket, it's probably a cow that's only like a year and a half old or something like
that. And then they killed it and they chopped it up into meat. They get them big as quickly as possible. They chop them up. When you go to some of these like classic Spanish steakous, there's some amazing Spanish steakous that I've watched videos on on Instagram. And the way these guys are cooking, they're cooking over like live coals and they just put salt all over the steak and the steak has fat that's like a dark yellow like because they're just eating nothing but grass. They they're
never eating corn and they're laying these these steaks down. They're sizzling and you see these people eat them, they're like, "What the fuck?" >> Yeah. marbleization. >> I think the best steakhouse in the world is in Spain. I think like the number one rated steakhouse on earth is in Spain. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, >> I think Ari and Bobby Kelly went to uh what's considered the best, you know, restaurant in the world somewhere in >> Spain. >> No, maybe they do this. They do a list
every year like the best restaurants. It's Spain in the past like 20 years, 10 of the years have been restaurants in Spain. They're they're very big into food culture. >> It's like that movie. It's like the menu. Do you want to do something like that, Louis? like the menu thing where you go to a place and they're like, "You're eating this." >> I do that every time, dude. I do that. We do. When we me and my son went, we went to three different Michelin star
restaurants. We got the uh >> tourists delight. >> That's it. Jamie, go back. >> Go back. But I'll tell you exactly the one. Would you go back to that? Scroll up so I could see what it said. No, no, no. Yeah, that's Castle Julian. that that place is like when you watch these guys cooking and it's it's generally these guys that have been in these [ __ ] places for decades >> and they worked under some famous chef and they worked in his kitchen for 20
years >> in the you just watch it you get [ __ ] starving. >> Yeah, dude. >> It's incredible. >> Yeah, the preset menu if you go to like a really nice I went to the other day I went to Hesta here they have a tasting menu that's incredible. >> Like look at the Oh, Hesta is great. So, but look at the fat. See how yellow the fat is? Yeah, >> it's crazy, right? Like that fat is all just grass and they just put nothing but
salt on it and they serve it rare. Like you get your steak rare. >> It's just seared on the outside and rare. And >> that's exactly how I love it. >> [ __ ] fantastic. >> So good. >> It's so good. >> Do they have a burger? >> I bet they do. >> Sure. >> I bet they do. >> Do they have a kids menu? >> Chicken fingers. >> Yeah. Too much fat for me. >> No. My kids destroy meat. If I can only eat one
thing for the rest of my life, 100% it's rib eyes. >> You say elk. Elk. >> No, I probably have ribe eyes. Yeah. Because I You need If you only had one thing, you need fat. And the problem with elk meat, which I love, is that you have to have fat with it. Like I usually eat it with bacon. I usually eat it with avocados. I eat it with other things because it's just pure protein. It's a much more dense animal, a much more dense protein.
But like if you had only one thing forever, it would 100%. It'd be ribe eyes. >> You get fat, you get protein. I don't think you need anything else. Take your vitamins. >> I go cheese. >> I go cheese steak. >> Hogy. >> I think healthy. I could eat sushi. I could eat sushi for the rest of my life and be happy. Like just raw fishury, but too much mercury. >> Mercury. Yeah. You're not supposed to eat sushi every day. >> Do you ever >> especially
tuna? >> Do you have has your mind gone completely? There's no interest. Like a splurge for you would never be like a McDonald's one night. >> Yeah, I'll have McDonald's. >> Yeah, I love uh I love those fillet of fishes. Sometimes if I'm hammered bun we're somewhere in some town and there's nothing open like after a show there's nothing open like let's go to the [ __ ] McDonald's. >> Some of the McDonald's will [ __ ] you after midnight and not give me a fish
fillet. >> Burn it down. Burn it down. >> Fish fillet. You You're under no illusion that there's anything healthy about anything that you're eating. You're eating a deep fried chunk of supposedly fish, >> North Atlantic cod, >> whatever the [ __ ] it is. It's pieces that they glued together. >> Tripley had that fake great joke. He was like, "The the play of fish is a dollar." He's like, "You can't even buy a fish for a dollar. You go to a pet store." He's like, "A
goldfish is $3 or something like that." >> Dollar. Is it really a dollar? Something like that. >> Yeah. No, it's probably six bucks now. I'm just never wasting if I'm eating a burger, I'm never wasting it on like McDonald's or like Wendy's. Like if I'm going to get a burger, I'm going to get a good burger, you know? >> Yeah. No, I agree. I mean, if I am, but if the only thing that's open is McDonald's, I'll say I'll get a quarter pounder. [ __ ]
it. >> Yeah. >> Big Mac is worse. >> I had a quarter pounder once for the first time in years, like a couple years ago, and I haven't had one since. But I was It was sweet. >> I was like, the there's sugar in this bun. The bread. Yeah. >> Yeah. Like I taste sugar. Like it doesn't taste just like regular bread. I was like, "This is weird." Yeah. McDonald's everything has like a film on it. Like the burger tastes the same as the fries in
a weird way. You drink the soda, you're like that kind of tastes like the burger. >> It was good. >> Yeah. Did you say the thing though? You ever see the experiments where you leave it out and nothing changed about? And they always show it and they go, "No, a lot of changed. >> A lot about they they have the one country where they banned McDonald's. It was somewhere in Europe and they have it like on display in like almost like a museum. They were like
the last burger or the last McDonald's burger that was sold. >> It still doesn't rot. >> It's been like 20 years and it looks the exact same." Well, that's why we're all [ __ ] up in America. It's the preservatives. Like, >> do you ever I mean, the commercials, do you ever do a commercial? I did a McDonald's commercial and like the b they have a chef that comes and makes the burger. So, it's like the best version of a McDonald's burger ever that you're using
to, you know, that's what you're eating on the day, but nothing ever looks like that. Like, they have someone specifically come to make that burger. >> It's like an actress's head shot. >> Yeah. They're like, it's not real. >> That's not That's not what you're going to get in the show for the audition. At this point, if you get McDonald's, though, when it's hot, it's piping hot, you go. This is a good McDonald's. That's all it takes anymore. If it's just hot, you're happy. >> Well,
you want to go when they're busy >> because they're turning over a lot. >> Yeah. >> You don't have something just sitting under a >> You say it's always like a late night, there's nothing else thing, >> right? That's a problem. But like if you want a late night, I think Wendy's is the move. Wendy's is probably the best burger. Like, as far as like fast food reliable burger, Wendy's is pretty [ __ ] You know, we decided years ago we uh we did a early
Legion of Skanks episode where we it was talking about those girls, those poor girls in uh Cleveland. Do you remember that the girl escaped and got out ran to the neighbor and they were being held by that guy >> in like the attic and they were getting pregnant for >> No, they were in the basement. >> I think it was both they were I think they were different places multiple girls >> and he'd get them pregnant and some of them had babies. He would kick them
until they had miscarriages and it was to and they and they caught him. The girls got out. They caught him. and he killed himself in jail. One of the facts of the story was um every day he fed them McDonald's. There's McDonald's across the street and every day he fed them McDonald's. And we were saying if you had to live that nightmare, but you can choose the fast food that you would eat every day, what would it be? Wendy's was the clear winner. >> Well, the
the episode was called Subway Counts because we figured out that Subway counts as fast food. It was an R Shafir episode. But it's not just what type of fast food would you have every day. The the question really was if you were being raped by a guy who kidnapped you, what fast food would you want every chain to a radiator? But your one pleasure a day you go it's like at least I'm getting the fast food I want. >> Yeah. >> Uh and Wendy's Wendy's is
Well, now cuz there's not enough stuff. >> Wendy's has Wendy has salad. They got baked potatoes. Wendy's doesn't have breakfast. >> You're an animal. If you're eating a salad at Wendy's and pretending you're healthy. >> No, but no one's saying you're healthy. You're pretending you're you're trying. You're in your scenario, >> you're chained to a radiator. >> I I don't know that it's a good time for me to piss. Hold down the fort, fellas. >> All right, boys. >> Anybody else want to go? >> Let's
take it over. >> Um, >> yeah. No, for me it's >> For me, it's Burger King. >> Burger King has got a great breakfast. The croissant witch is an incredible the the original croissant. The first people to ever put breakfast on a croissant was Burger or King. Burger King. They got a great The chicken sandwich, the rectangular chicken sandwich. Incredible. Apolog unapologetically will put the Whopper against that stupid Spain burger you had. >> I love a Whopper, dude. >> That's actually crazy. >> Oh, is it?
Now, >> you don't really believe that. This is the thing. Sometimes, Jay, you say things and I'm like, you don't actually believe that? So, what are we doing? >> But you know what though, dude? You appreciate it. He just might be like, I I like a burger. Yeah, burgers taste like burgers. >> This burger, guys, I [ __ ] you not. Like, you know when like you go to breathe and you kind of like do the lip quiver like like I did that when I ate
the last bite. I was emotional. And then I walked over to a place. I got some Basque cheese. >> You have a lot of unresolved [ __ ] you got to work out with a doctor. Man, >> it's got nothing to do with that burger. It's something to do with like loss and tragedy or something. >> This burger represents something to you, Louis. That's the thing you're missing. >> Why you wish you could have shared this with your father? It's like that kind of thing. Like
my dad never took me for a Spanish burger. >> Yeah. Wow. >> Yeah. It's that it's emotions that aren't It's nothing to do. You're out of control. >> Maybe. >> Well, guys, >> definitely. >> Go watch Legit of Skanks. While while Joe's done, go watch Legit Skanks. Skank Fest happen. >> Three for Life. Skankfest happening. Single day passes. Get them now. >> R Shafir returning this year. Mark Normand. Uh [ __ ] Jim Noron. >> Just Christina P. Tim Dylan isn't officially booked. He shows up
every year. >> Eric Andre for the first time. >> Oh, nice. >> So then I said, "Dude, I don't want to suck your dick. How about that?" >> Did you see that? Speaking of Eric Andre, did you see the him and [ __ ] Hank? Uh >> yeah. What was that about? >> Was that a fist fight? >> I thought they No. a fist fight. No, they got like separated. But like it's funny like er I can't tell if Eric's nervous about it or not for
real because >> Ched Hanks did go get in his face >> and it was like they just don't like I guess I guess Eric Andre like you know he's like the crazy guy who does the stuff but Chad Hanks came on his show as one of the few celebrities knowing what he was going into >> and so he [ __ ] [ __ ] with the show back and I think Eric Andre didn't like that. >> Oh really? >> I think and it's like so they
just kind of had like a beef going on but he cornered him in some comic or something you know. >> Yeah. He was claiming that uh Eric said something about him, right? >> He did. I think he calls him, you know, I think just going to discredit him. I say was the shittiest guest or something maybe on the show, something like that. It was like whatever it was like Chad Hank seems pissed about it. But to have Tom Hanks son angry at you and then it
comes at you and it turns out he's a confused country wigger type guy. I don't know what he does. He He does seven genres of music. >> Yeah. >> The guy used to do R&B >> for real. It was R&B and then it became rap and then now it's country and now it's kind of country rap. >> Well, the rap to country pipeline is a real thing that's happening now. Rappers are kind of figuring out like, oh, I could just do country music is the easiest.
Yeah. The easiest music to sing. Like >> Jelly Roll was a rapper. >> Yeah. What's the name? Uh the other guy too. >> Teddy's Yellow Wolf. >> No, >> Wolf does country, >> huh? >> He does country now. >> Yeah. Yeah. I think everyone just kind of It's like a transition to country music. I think you do a lot of bad things when you're a rapper and then you find God. >> It's got to be weird being Tom Hanks son too and trying to find your
own path and everybody's like [ __ ] Tom Hanks's kid. >> Well, also because the other one is so Tom Hanksy. The fact that this one's got like neck tattoos Colin Hanks. So he was like an actor at a bunch of stuff >> and he's like >> I didn't know there was another one. >> Yeah. He's like you've seen >> pretty well known. He was in the movie Orange County years ago with he was the star of that >> kind of like a dweeb guy. >>
He's a total Tom Hanks. So, exactly. He's like a guy who tucks in his button-down shirt on a Sunday, >> but like and then the son's a neck tattoo, you know, like like a code switch and it's great. He got in trouble one time for talking Patchwa and he's like, I don't give a [ __ ] You bump a club and they just made a rap song doing it. I half respect it all. >> Yeah. >> I've he trouble for talking that talk. >> Cultural appropriation.
>> So stupid. >> It's so uh >> shit's so stupid. What's really hilarious is black ladies complaining about cultural appropriation while they have white wigs on >> a white lady wig on. Like this is crazy. Like look at your hair. This is >> I do love watching videos of like big black women intimidating like small white girls with braids and like take those braids out your hair right now [ __ ] >> Crazy. The take your braids out talk is crazy. >> You sit there and
pick it out. >> Yeah. I'm sorry. >> Take your braids out is [ __ ] >> That means you're you're cultural appropriating. Or you went to the Bahamas. >> Bahamas. Yeah. >> Yeah. or you were a Roman. Braids have been around since the beginning of time. It's hilarious. >> It's just But again, it's somewhere in the ether people find out. People are told one day you're supposed to be angry about it. You know what I'm saying? That same was way back to earlier we were saying
like the blackface thing. No one thought anything of it when Bewitched everyone was in blackface. >> When did it become a real was it the internet? It must be. >> I think it was really Ted Danc was like the one they put him on like the New York Post or something. It was like big time. It was bad >> when Howard Stern parodyied Ted Dansen. >> Way worse. >> 10 times worse. >> I think he's buried it completely. >> Oh, you could find for sure. But
I mean, he's he tried to get rid of it all. >> That's when Howard was awesome. >> He's uh I mean, that was wild. It was awesome. But even when he was doing it, you were kind of like I mean, it was on TV. It was on It was on channel in Philly. It was like the WB or whatever he was on. >> Wild. >> No, no, that thing. No, that >> that thing was on his channel 9 show whatever. >> Imagine that. He's doing a
radio show every day. He's got to get up at [ __ ] 5:00 in the morning, do that radio show, and then he's also doing a TV show >> at the same time. >> Oh, that that Oh, yeah. He was They were getting that. He told that schedule was crazy. Bewitched. >> This is Bewitched. >> That's the bewitched. Everyone Oh, this is crazy. >> But it's B apostrophe wi t. Oh, you know how who had something on blackfaced Jamie? Cody Tucker. You know Cody, the guy
was on our podcast recently had a thing on Joanie Mitchell. Like Joanie Mitchell uh had invented some character for something and it was her in blackface dressed up as a man. >> Yeah. >> And singing songs. >> Well, here I'll play the Cody Tucker thing. It's crazy. >> I think the song Time, the video for Time by Culture Club's got a bunch of people on blackface. This is crazy folk musicians of all time and is known for her socially progressive messages within her music. Despite that,
Joanie Mitchell has had some interesting moments when it comes to race. She was once asked to introduce Muhammad Ali at Madison Square Garden and told fellow musician Joan Bayz that she was going to introduce him to the crowd as a jive ass nword. Luckily, she decided against it. In 1977, Joanie Mitchell released the album Don Juan's Reckless Daughter. The cover of that album featured an African-American man named Art Novo. Except Art Novo wasn't an actual person, but instead Joanie Mitchell dressed in total blackface as Wall
has had an affinity for blackface for quite some time and is dressed as her Africanamean alter ego on multiple occasions. Joanie Mitchell is one of the most >> Okay, >> that's a that's crazy. >> Was that the shirt he was wearing? >> That's a different time back then. That was just her being silly. That wasn't even No one even thought of that as being racist. She's just pretending to be a person that's black. >> Certainly a giant. >> That's an issue. That's an issue. But you
know what's crazy is no matter how >> much hearsay, >> but I'm saying all the activism she's done and all the stuff that I'm sure the positive stuff she's done uh it that does get for some people that just wipes it completely. That's what I'm saying. They go >> that's one of the reasons why they do it. They they signal to the base that they're a good person now and they go way overboard. When you notice like men that go way overboard with the woke [
__ ] they're usually got some [ __ ] shady [ __ ] in their past. >> That's they always get with it. That's the Bill Cosby effect, right? >> Well, it's like a lot of these guys that went like, you know, I hate to throw Stern under the bus, but he went super woke. And one of the problems is if you go back through his archives, there's horrendous [ __ ] in there. >> Vicious. >> But it was like at the time that was fun. Like
when we used to do OA, like it was shock jock. Like we were shocking each other on purpose of saying [ __ ] completely outrageous [ __ ] And if you're a person that you know wants to be accepted by the Democratic party and you want to be like there's comes a certain moment in time where you have to abandon all that stuff and you have to completely buy into whatever the [ __ ] they're saying. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Take the oath. One of the
best things that Jay ever came up with when we were doing we were like three years into Legion of Skanks >> and Jay was like we should start calling it the most offensive podcast on earth. So when people come they know exactly what they're going to get. I think it's why we've never gotten in trouble for all the horrible [ __ ] we've said. >> You've also did a brilliant thing and that's you went subscription early on. You're like look [ __ ] advertising. [ __
] all this. Let's just like have this. Everybody knows what we're doing. Have the fans pay for it but give them what they want. And you guys have always stuck to that. It's always you've never watered it down. It's always been chaos. It's always been Ari [ __ ] on stage or whatever. Someone [ __ ] a flesh. Like it's you guys. >> I was getting jerked off by a flashlight. >> You [ __ ] He [ __ ] the flashlight. You [ __ ] Big
Jay by proxy touched him. >> It's like electricity went through you. >> It's like that's the right way to do it. You know, Kumia did that with Compound Media. It's like that's the way to do it if you want to be that. If you want to go like the straight progression from like Opanthony satellite radio wildness right into that like on Opanthony we did that [ __ ] thing where that guy they did the big bird you saw baby bird >> baby bird did I remember
that >> with me and Burr and Ari and I think Ari might have named it the baby bird someone but it was basically my idea because of fear factor I was like why don't you lay your head over that barrel and he'll throw up in your mouth and this guy was like Okay. And then the amount of puke that came out of this guy's mouth. And so this was on a flip phone. You can watch the video. So the flip phone is like terrible resolution cuz
it's like 2003 or something like that. >> I was never jealous. >> That was the amount. And that was him. >> Oh my god. >> Pat Duffy. Shout out to Pat Duffy. He was the intern. >> Look at that. Foundryusic.com. That's what all this stuff was on. >> Yeah. >> That was like their that was their website sort of. >> That's crazy. >> Yeah. And remember they used to like stream it live on the internet on a laptop. There was some [ __ ] pal talk
or something you had to get. Yeah. Oh, it was insane. >> What a collab. >> See, watch the video. Pal. Yeah. Watch the video because the video is nuts cuz >> it's either my phone or someone else's phone. I forget who got the video of it, but it's super low resolution. You know, this is like a 2003 video that only goes for >> Joe Rogan playing Carolines all weekend long >> with the Amazing Racist uh opening up. >> Pat, how are you? >> That was Ari
Shafir. He used to call himself the Amazing Racist. >> I knew Ari Shafir from the Amazing Racist before I knew Ari Shafir. Me and Dave Smith would rent the the National Amunes video that had the Amazing Racist on it >> and we were like, "This is the funniest thing I've ever seen." Then we met Ari. We were like, "The [ __ ] Amazing Racist." >> It was made by the Shamwow guy. >> True. That caused him so many problems early in his career. >> Ari has
always been a maniac from the jump. >> Scoot along a little bit. >> This camera footage of it. This guy's got a really nice camera. >> What's he drinking, dude? >> That's That is a guy working for >> OA. Is this somewhere? >> He's going for 75. >> Does he have to open his mouth? >> So he's at 75 shots of everybody. >> 75 shots. >> Yeah, that's fine. >> People are calling America and also Yeah. Also, he's diabetic. >> Oh, Jesus. >> So, there's the
there's the beginning. So, here's the start. So, he drinks the last one and >> So, that's the beginning. >> But, no, it's impossible volume. The volume is impossible. >> Look at that. >> Oh my god. >> Yeah. No, no, no. It keeps going. Keep going. It No, it goes beyond real. It's like cartoonish. Like, you can't believe it's real. Watch this. Here it comes. He's going to hang in there. Here he goes. >> He's holding on. >> I'm laughing. >> We lost Jimmy. >> This guy's
covered. >> We're artists. Here he goes. >> But no, you you're still not stunned enough. Here it comes. >> A thunderous round of applause. >> This is not over by any means. >> Who's the person getting vomited into their mouth? >> That's Pat Duffy. Kids and animals. moment in radio history. Period. >> TRUST ME ON THAT. >> THAT TRUST. >> Where's the rest of it? >> I saw >> Oh, you must have cut it out of the beginning. >> Did you just fast forward? >> Oh,
really? >> Oh my god. >> He covers his clothes. >> Oh my god. Watch. Watch this. >> Like that one. >> That's insanity. That's >> He threw it in his mouth. And again, he threw it in his mouth like five [ __ ] times. >> Isn't it that show ended like a rock band? >> Yeah. >> Like the way they all just like [ __ ] >> Oh, there it is. There it is. There's the big one. >> I came right at the end of I
came right at the end of Opie and Anthony. >> Oh, it was so fun. >> I started doing I started doing Ron and Fez Bennington. >> Those guys were great, too. >> It was my favorite time ever doing radio. It was like the one radio that I would look forward to because it was I always say that that's the birth of podcasting. Me and Colin were talking about it yesterday. That's how it started because they it was so open-ended. They just let you do whatever. They
just It was just a hang. >> Yeah. There was no like give me three topics you want to we'll bring up and you can do jokes about them. It was >> And they didn't have segments that they had. >> And they were smarter than Stern because they would bring in comics like good comics like and they would sit back and let everyone just [ __ ] with each other. >> At the time that Stern wasn't accepting any new, >> you know, I mean like new Stern
had was like they weren't good comedians. They became comedians cuz they had like a name from the Stern show. >> No, you're going back. You're going different direction. I'm talking about when he would have like guests. >> There's another angle. >> He got like he had like Sam Kenisonson like early game. >> Oh my god. >> He had Ken and he had all those guys on, but Howard would do an interview and he would control the interview. >> The difference between that and OA is OA
was just a hang, you know? It's like Lewis, what's going on? You would sit down, Norton would start [ __ ] on you. Voss would [ __ ] on you. It would get crazy. Patrice would [ __ ] on you. It was just everybody laughing, everybody having fun. One of my favorite moments just in like if you're a podcast fan or if you are a podcaster, go watch the first time Voss brought Patrice O'Neal into Obie and Anthony. And within like 3 seconds, Patrice just takes
over. He starts trashing Voss. Like within 10 seconds, he's trashing Voss >> and it's one of the most brilliant like just comfortable like just immediately so comfortable and just took over the room and out like out alpha everybody. It's it's [ __ ] brilliant. >> He'd be in prison today. That was the birth of podcasting and then you know all the stuff that we do that you guys doing legis all that stuff were direct descendants of a lot of our early fans were like oh this
is like a continuation of Obie and Anthony. >> Yeah people still like that still fun like people don't want to be lectured and scolded and talked down to and [ __ ] be told what words to use and not words to use. [ __ ] you. >> People are tired of it. We want just people talking [ __ ] and being entertained. The same way you do when you're hanging out at a bar, the same way you do when you go over your friend's house, you
have a couple beers. That's how people talk. >> Yeah. >> Um I was going to say with the Stern thing, do you think like I I'm was such a fan for so long. I stayed in there like pretty close till now, >> but I don't really listen anymore now because it's not that he got woke as a thing. I guess it is more that than like where he changed and a lot of people complain but I do understand age getting to a point where you're like
well I don't want to do like the [ __ ] Olympics >> with the porn stars and I get I get aging out of that maybe his daughters are you know I had the same thing >> yeah Dave Smith >> but like uh but I'm thinking age out of it but it's also like to have it all go so like I mean he's like interviewed everyone that was like his enemy like but like interviewed them in a way where it's like hey Kathy Lee Gford remember
I made fun of you now tell me about this lovely song you wrote for your dead husband which is like crazy. Like an awful thing she wrote. Like he's just like now it's like he's like we're at dinner parties together. So I think he's like he's not going at him like that anymore. Well, it's got to be weird, man, because like when he was doing it in the early days, there was no internet, so there was no feedback. And one of the things I remember in
the early days of uh Twitter, like he used to get on Twitter, they used to get on the and and Instagram and these and you'd read the comments and they were [ __ ] horrendous because that's what you've cultivated. You've cultivated a bunch of vicious people. Like remember the pests from OA? >> Yeah. >> They were the most vicious. The most vicious. And then they turned on Opie and Anthony, which is the funniest part of all of it. Like they they just started it became a
game to just torture the hosts of that show. >> Yeah. God, they're animals. >> And they were having fun. And it's like, look, this is what you set up. This is a culture you set up. >> Yeah. >> And so I don't think you like that. And then there was also like once the internet came around, then the woke [ __ ] started happening. And then people started finding stuff that he had said and done and he was getting attacked for it. Like he had never
been attacked his whole life. >> The internet made virtue signaling very easy. And that's like it's an addictive thing. It's the only time somebody will get like 10 likes on a post, right? Because they're like saying this thing that it's like, "Oh, look, I'm holier than thou." And then they get a little attention and you're like, "Oh, cool. That's that's valuable to me. It's the most attention I've ever gotten in my life." >> Harrison also had an army behind him at one point when every when
[ __ ] did come at him. There was like an army screaming a lot louder. That army is now like, you know, >> well, the internet handfuls of like, you know, retired fights and stuff. >> It's a different thing. It was all that was before the internet. You you have to really take that in into consideration. Like he was the real original pioneer. He was the one doing crazy [ __ ] getting fined by the government, >> but there was no feedback and there was no
other people and he would like controlled market. He would attack whoever was in the market and he would go into it to just say horrible things about their families. Horrible things. >> But also the And also everybody's copying him. >> Yeah. >> Like if you're talking on radio, he's like everyone's copying me. And it's like he's not wrong. He's right. >> But he didn't accept >> kudos for that. Like Yeah. Like it's like you're awesome so we want to do it too. He's like I'll end
you for trying to be doing a comedy. It's like well you can't be the only funny radio thing ever. You opened up a genre now. >> Yeah. You can't be hating other dudes are doing the same [ __ ] you do and you could be the only one. That's crazy. >> Once he got SiriusXM he stopped giving a [ __ ] about like FM right now. Then everybody was all of a sudden was like guy's a great broadcaster. Like that's all he says now in hindsight.
>> Well the other thing was that like when you think about back then there was only a few slots. So there was one morning slot from 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. that everybody wanted. That was the drive time morning and Howard owned that. He owned that syndicated all across the country. So as soon as the internet came around, no one's competing for slots anymore. Now it's wide open. The podcast goes out the whole world. So everybody realized this isn't a feast or famine anymore. It's not
like if you guys have a show, then I can't have a show cuz that slot is taking up on WXM radio. Yeah. >> That doesn't exist. So it's just wide open. So then everybody was was cool and they weren't like in the old days of like the Tonight Show like you heard about like Jay Leno hiding in the closet while they're talking about David stuff. >> They were all like fighting against each other because there was only scraps. >> There was only a tiny amount of
spots and there was a million guys who wanted to host the Tonight Show. >> Yes. Starting from that era of being like I have to be the best or everyone else is going to catch up to me. Different attitude. Those antiquated comedy ideas are great. Can you I mean even in my time in comedy I remember the nights of like ABC scouts are in the audience that's like what the [ __ ] okay [ __ ] >> Yeah >> like but the time there was a
time when there was like all right they put me on that NBC showcase happening over at this comedy club and like you realize it means nothing jack [ __ ] ever HBO's doing a showcase >> certainly doesn't now in the '9s something in the '90s you get a development deal and it would change your [ __ ] life. Everybody did. And then there was that poor guy who killed himself. They always they always used his name as Michael Roof, right? Michael chicken roof. >> I don't
know what his real name was. I just knew me as chicken. >> But he got because he became they you know, who knows why he killed himself ultimately, but I guess was always thought was because he became the name associated with well you can go to New Faces now, but you're probably not walking out of there with a definite deal. You know, one two guys are going to go home with a deal. But it used to be if you went to New Faces like you're coming
back with a holding or development or something. >> Well, you should say why. Why him? >> Um, what was it? I don't I'm not sure exactly. >> He got the biggest deal ever. >> Oh, yeah. He got He get the million million dollar deal, right? >> It was confusing. And not to disparage Dead Man, but it was confusing. You would watch his comedy like, "What are they laughing at? I don't understand." And agents, a lot of agents, especially the young ones, these are young kids. They
don't understand comedy. They don't know what the [ __ ] is going on. They just hear noise like, "He's amazing. He's so talented." And so, they signed this guy to some huge [ __ ] deal. It was like the biggest development deal they had ever signed anybody to and it all fell apart. Nothing happened and then years later he wound up killing himself cuz his career just and he hung himself in front of a school. >> Oh yeah, >> that's like lore like what's the other
one? >> Did you guys say you never heard of this before? I've always Olly Joe Prader is the guy who like they put they put a tarp over him like for the feature >> act. He's drive Mity. They had that picture of him in the comedy store back room. Ali Joe the big in the limo and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think he died and they they had to put like a tarp over him or something like that. >> No, no. I heard he was just
like so like he couldn't like make it to the stage. >> So he'd sit during his set. >> So he s during his set, they put a tarp over him. When the feature act was done, they would just like remove the tarp and he would start doing the show. >> You think there's like a [ __ ] >> Oh my god, that's crazy. >> You thought it was like a drum kit or something? >> Crazy. He had to position himself on stage >> under a tarp.
Give it up for Ralphie May. Cuz no matter how big he got, he walked up and he [ __ ] walked that walk up to that goddamn microphone. >> Oh god. Could you imagine Ralphie? We had Ralphie get in the back. We got towards >> the end. I saw Ralphie. That was wild. Like uh being taken around Bonnaroo on his own golf cart like on the back just dominating the space and then his people would >> set him up with a chair right in the pit
of the music at Bon at Bonaroo. I remember Kendrick Lamar was on and it was thumping and you look over and he's like asleep in a chair in front of a stack of marshals like yo Ralphie that's why Ari ended up uh that was the thing our flights all got [ __ ] up going home from Bonnaroo and Ari's flight got cancelled and we were scaring to try to get new flights and he goes I think I'm going to go stay with uh Ralphie for you
go I don't know how much longer we're going to have Ralphie around I think he passed like months later. >> Wow kind of saw that coming. That's that RE6 sense. Yeah, the Ralphie one was a bummer cuz he had a bunch of operations, too. >> Right. Yeah. He had his stomach stabled a couple times and blew through it. >> Jesus. >> Tenacious. >> Yeah. He had whatever the operation was, he pull he ate through the operation. >> So, he busted it out and he had to
get redone. >> That's wild. Yeah. Multiple times. One time I worked with him, he was carrying like a I think he had a catheter that came out of his pants into a briefcase he was holding and it's like, >> "Oh, boy. >> You just have a dick tube in right now while you're talking to me." >> Oh, boy. That's tough. Oh boy. Still doing a show. >> Carrying around a briefcase full of piss. >> Yeah. >> Killing. Killing. >> [ __ ] killing, dude. >> Sat
down on the stool. Is there a cable that grease goes in his pants? >> Ralphie made Ralphie at Dublins. Remember Dublin's dude. He used to shake that [ __ ] place up. Dude, he would murder. >> Ralphie would murder. And he had a pace to him. Ralphie knew how to like he had that pace that bang bang bang. And with that southern accent. >> Oh yeah. >> Yeah. He was a Houston guy. You know, there was a great crap, great crop of uh talent that came
out of the Laugh Stop in Houston for a while. A bunch of good guys like Mattie Kersh came out of there. There's a bunch of other funny guys that just never [ __ ] made it, but they were good, man. They were like really funny comics. >> Boston had a ton of that though. >> Oh, yeah. Well, Boston was better than >> Boston was like the the but notoriously got guys that are like no one can believe why Steve Sweeney was never like his own star
in some way. >> Oh, yeah. know for sure. But what what came out of that Houston scene was Kenisonson and Hicks. They both came out of that scene. >> The last stop. >> Yeah. That was a [ __ ] incredible club man. >> I worked for the lady's son took it over when she got sick or passed or whatever. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. He And then he opened up another one that was outside. They they closed locations and moved to a different location. It wasn't
as good. That was one when Ari went up with a Hitler mustache on Ari had a beard and he's like, "I think I'm going to grow a Hitler mustache." I'm like, "Well, you can." >> We did one time, a black guy could say the n word. You can wear a Hitler mustache. Go up there. >> One time on Legion Gangs back in the day, we uh we did some >> some sort of challenge. Whatever it was, the punishment for Ari was though, >> me, Dave Smith,
and Big Jay shaved all of our pubes and we glued them to Ari to make a Hitler mustache. You can probably find the picture. You can find the video. It's I I don't know if I've laughed this hard in 30 years. It's the funniest. >> It looks so His face is so He hates it. I had spirit gum. We put spirit gum and I took the pubes and it was me. I put the pubes on his face and when I move my fingers away, >> it's
the reveals. >> It's the funniest thing. >> World class on the planet. On the planet. He's right here. >> See, this is a direct transition between the baby bird and this is trying to move his nose out of the way. This is a threeman job. >> Who's that guy? >> Sexy Dave Smith. >> Yes, you are, dude. >> Young Dave. my line >> before Dave got political. >> Oh my god. >> This is a perfect Hitler man. Hitler mustache. >> Louis, you you take the sickest
perverted [ __ ] happiness. Oh my god. Oh my god. jam lost. >> I've never been happier than in that moment. That was >> That was my peak. >> Oh my god. >> Oh my god. That's so funny. >> Good God. >> He's an animal. >> Yeah. I had to hold his [ __ ] open once while he got his [ __ ] bleached. >> Triply. It's like that was our punishment. I hold his [ __ ] >> We've held Ari's [ __ ] open. I
one time I had a hemorrhoid. I was like, "Guys, I got a hemorrhoid." And then everyone was like, "All right, show me." So I showed him on the show and then uh Ari's like, "That's not a hemorrhoid. >> That's not a hemorrhoid. I'll I'll show you a hammer. I was like, "All right, let me see." So then obviously he bent over and I I held his [ __ ] open, dude. And it looked like the [ __ ] demogorgon from Stranger Things. >> His [ __
] looks like what the hell razor box does, too. Like it's been the chains that pulled it inside out. >> He used to have to take pieces of toilet paper and like stuff it between his napkins. >> He still does. He called him. >> Crazy. Put it on Louis. do whatever you could to stop that from happening. >> He's had two surgeries. Two anal corrective like Yeah. Like like scrape out the [ __ ] surgeries, dude. Scrape out the [ __ ] >> So what's the
issue? >> I think they come back. I think he's vital. >> I think he's like a he's so feral that he has to get his anal glands expressed like a dog. >> I think he spends too much time like he's a king. >> Oh yeah, >> that picture is amazing. Oh my god, that picture is amazing. Well, you're wearing St. Peter shirton. >> Oh my god. >> The trathon. >> God, that's a terrible shirt to be wearing in that photo. >> Oh my god. Blessing Ari
[ __ ] trailer. >> Ari maybe maybe is leaving the biggest stamp in standup comedy. >> Even without being an arena act or anything, just a big stamp. I mean, as far as affecting people's lives around him. >> Yep. He's an animal. It's also he's living his life the way he wants to live it, which is like so it's like it's the purest definition of success. He wakes up, opens his eyes, and he just does what he wants to do. >> He'll take off for six
months, a year off his podcast. Like everyone's like, "You got to get out at the exact same time every week." Or was like, "I'm not going to do it." >> I say he's like he's the architect of his own happiness. He's created a world that he's like, "This is what I want to do. This is the best version of me. This is what makes me happy and that's what I want to do." >> And it really works. And the thing is like what really cemented him
other than this is not happening the show that he did on Comedy Central was his special Jew. That [ __ ] special is amazing. >> I was there taping watching tape. I was like this is beautiful. >> He worked so hard on it for so long. It was like the one thing that he really concentrated because he had a very specific subject to write material on and it was so rock solid, man. And then the whole thing happened with Kobe Bryant. He stopped doing it for
a while. I'm like, "Bro, you got to bring that back. You got to release that as a special." And then he released that as a special like oh >> numbers. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Rock solid. >> Yeah. He moved to New York and became like an elite level comedian. Like he he just Yeah. Like Ory was always good but then he came to New York and like his standup is so [ __ ] it's so good. >> I think it also was part of that thing
of doing what you want to do. And he always wanted to be a New York City comedian. He like even when he lived in LA the idea of living in New York and doing comedy in New York was bouncing around. >> That's what he wanted. And so that's what he did. And now like he's like I want to go to Asia for six months. no phone. He just abandons his phone. You can't get a hold of him. And then every now and then I would get
like a text message wondering what's happening with blah blah blah. I'm like, who the [ __ ] is this? And he didn't even tell me who it was. It was >> Sorry, I'm in Uganda. >> And then like three text messages later, oh, this is Ari by the way. >> Like, oh, okay. >> Yeah. >> Where are you? I'm in Savvo. >> Look at him. >> He missed the first Skangfest ever last year and he's he's coming back this year for >> Where is he now?
He whipped his tattoo wherever they filmed Star Wars. >> Yeah. Where the [ __ ] Tunisia? What the [ __ ] man? >> Yeah. Or was having a beer at the cantina on space. >> Not only that, he'll do this [ __ ] by himself. Like, he's an animal. >> Yeah. He's He's like, I'll get lost. I'll figure out where I'm sleeping guy. I'm like I'm a plans guy. >> Well, I mean, he's not pretending. >> No, >> that's the thing. Like, that is who he
is. >> It's [ __ ] dope way to live your life. >> Beautiful person, dude. >> He's getting chubby. I saw him a month ago in France and he's like, "I'm fat, just to let you know." I'm like, "Don't worry, dude. I'm way fatter than you are. You don't have to worry about that." >> All right, fellas. Let's bring this [ __ ] home. Uh, Skankfest, >> November 13th. >> Greatest comedy festival in the history of the known universe. >> Absolutely. >> Yeah, we're uh single
day passes. Saturday might be sold out at this point, but if you're especially if you're in the area, come get Single Day passes skankfest.com. >> Uh, yeah. I mean, it's >> come for the comedy. Stay for Steve's dick. Yeah, naked. Steve judges a naked roast. Every year we do a naked roast battle where the comedians are all naked. All the judges are naked. No phones allowed. It's uh >> and it's me, Jason Ellis, who's got a hog that you've never even [ __ ] seen. And
then like a porn star, and it's like And me. It sucks, dude. >> Well, you got balls, bro. >> I I mean I big ones. >> Yeah, he's got decent balls. >> But I have to It's been 10 years. So it's like once you see you me naked, it's like there's no more surprises. So one year I put home phone number on my back >> and I would just turn around and flex for the audience. I did black dick one year. So we got a good
one. >> Every year I find a new party of you to love. >> Yeah, we got a lot of really cool stuff. It's the 10th year anniversary. So and uh yeah, it's the last one we're doing in New Orleans for quite some time. So it's going to be a wild >> I always say that I think it's the best festival in comedy. It's the most wild and free and it's like just seems it's in the the spirit of just making people laugh. >> No industry, we
don't give any industry passes out. Everyone's there to just have a good time >> and it's always sold out. It's always sold out. Like people love it. They look forward to it every year. You guys are killing it. >> So congrat and congratulations on being the newest member. >> Thank you. >> Appreciate that. >> All right. Wrap it up. >> Thank you.